Wednesday 26 September 2018

The Kingsman mess

Image courtesy of me because I'm a petty fucker

Hello you, my name is Luca but you can call me Luca. I shudder in anticipation of writing this, maybe anticipation is the wrong word, but I can't be fucked to think of the correct one. Anyone who knows me, will probably be able to put a word to how I'm feeling, and know how much this means to me.

So if you have started reading my blog over the last year, I'll bring you up to speed. I used to be a Kingsman fan, then Kingsman: The Golden Circle happened, now Kingsman and the director Matthew Vaughn can go fuck themselves. I lived in absolute fear for five or so months between the first trailer being released and the movie being released in cinemas, that one of my favourite characters from the first film Roxy, would not only be killed off, but in the most egregious and unnecessary way possible.

I'll let any of you who aren't up to speed research this in your own time if you aren't already well versed in what happened, all you need to know is, it has been a year since that happened and it's still no better. I started a petition which has over 1,200 signatures to bring Roxy back, and it may or may not be successful. Still though, it isn't enough.

Like how people celebrate when a war is over, as extreme a case that may be, I feel the sort of numb anger that is left over from the fact that it should never have happened in the first place. The third instalment of the Kingsman franchise was officially confirmed recently, and if they had not done such a disrespectful job of the second movie, I'd have been even more excited as it would be released in the month of my 23rd birthday, November 2019.

Now what I have read is as far as I am aware, merely only a rumour. The idea of Roxy returning was thrown into the same comment as apparently Tom Holland being in it along with Mel Gibson, in any case, I don't believe it. But I speak about it because in that parallel universe where there is no world conflict, no bigotry, no hatred, and no Roxy being killed off in the most horrendous manner, I am happy. But here, back down on planet reality, these feelings of utter distaste and anger are back, and I am channelling this energy into what I believe is that universe's Kingsman 2. Because what better way to distract yourself from reality than to delude yourself like this?

So I loved the first Kingsman, obviously not anymore.. but I had so many ideas for the future of Kingsman, it was a franchise with great potential. I had the idea for a third movie where Eggsy and Roxy are invited to the European Grand Prix held in London as a guest of F1 champion Lewis Hamilton, who incase you didn't know, there's a picture of him at the Huntsman tailors that I saw when I was invited down to visit them in late 2015.

Anyway, Merlin then let's them know about a figure they need to keep an eye on, Solomon Christmas, a wheel-chair bound elderly gentleman portrayed by Leonardo DiCaprio, who was one of the leading choices to portray Richmond Valentine in the first movie, who of course was portrayed brilliantly by Samuel L. Jackson.

Christmas would greet Eggsy and Roxy, the race would begin and whilst Eggsy and Roxy were looking round searching for clues (I haven't got these details down, I'd leave it up to a professional, so move over Matthew Vaughn) and then a terror attack would happen during the race in which Christmas is 'killed', and his young underwear model trophy wife would lay the blame on the Kingsman which would send Eggsy and Roxy into hiding.

This would come off the back of the second instalment which in my hypothetical timeline would not be the dreadful version we have now. Instead we have a similar plot but instead of all but Eggsy and Merlin killed, they lose communications and start being chased by someone who actually has links with Valentine, maybe keep Julianne Moore's character but have her recover Harry's body instead of the pathetic Statesman reason they did go with.

Since Moore's character Poppy is in the advanced medical field, she tracks down Harry's body and after reviving him, her and Charlie convince him that he was left for dead by the Kingsman and starts tracking them down.

What follows are confrontations by an unknown figure as far as the Kingsman agents are concerned, who recognise similar fight patterns only a Kingsman could be taught which leads Eggsy, Merlin and a very much alive Roxy to believe it's a former agent who was turned in the events of Valentine's V-Day. They refer to this figure as Excalibur, after the sword that King Arthur wielded, due to their belief that he was Kingsman trained.

Then comes the encounter with Excalibur, and in a winter soldier like fashion, Eggsy knocks off Excalibur's mask only to realise it's Harry. If you had not already guessed.

But we all know this won't happen. I've already said my piece on how blatant and disregarding it was, the lack of care that Matthew Vaughn put into the franchise he made. Him bringing back Roxy because of fan demand won't work, because it's more than just that, and I won't forgive him for putting us through that. I was lucky, realising very early this horrendous possibility and soon to be truth, I have friends who went there unsuspecting and came out with their world even more destroyed than mine was.

This should never have happened. Fuck Matthew Vaughn, fuck Kingsman, we deserved better, Sophie Cookson deserved better, Roxy deserved better!

A small bit of an update for you all, as you may have noticed, I haven't posted in a couple of months. I'm just letting you know that it's because I have just started university, I am doing a course on comic books in order to obtain my qualification to apply for Rockstar.

I am also working on my racing novel, I went to the Carlin Motorsport HQ recently as part of my research and being there was incredible, met some amazing people and given me a very clear vision of what I hope to achieve in my novel. Also one of my friends Olli Caldwell who has been helping me with my novel, he's been racing this year for Prema in German and Italian Formula 4 and is in contention for the Italian championship, and is also on the candidate shortlist for the McLaren BRDC Autosport award.

Speaking of my novel though, my main character is called Alex Harrison but at one point, he meets and becomes friends with a girl called LeoniƩ 'Leo' Taylor, and my aim with these two characters is to make up for what Matthew Vaughn blatantly disregarded with Eggsy and Roxy.

Things are on the up for me, but as petulant and pathetic as it may seem, I won't keep quiet about anything I see to be wrong. Thank you for reading, hopefully you stick around for more because I am not abandoning this blog of mine at all. I just may be posting very irregularly.

If you're new here, follow me on Twitter @TheLucaFormat and I hope to see you back here soon.

Until we meet again,
Luca.