Unattainable dreams?

Hello you, the name is Luca but you can call me Luca. Now many of you may remember my post 'What is a voice with no power? (Part 2: Curious Incident movie)' which I shall link here if you have not already read it - https://redsone-shot.blogspot.co.uk/2016/07/what-is-voice-with-no-power-part-2.html.

When I posted that, it was something that I really wanted to avoid because I had been keen to keep these requests between me and the right people, and releasing anything like that for you all to see may at first have been more of something that would work against me as appose to in my favour. I say that because if I made it public, the big people involved would not take me seriously and see me as just some random fan boy who would be just a minor inconvenience and not take me seriously.

The reason I made all that I did public is because I would constantly get either no response, or a response from the email address I did send one particular email to and only get told "Sorry, this is not the correct email address" and never get whatever the correct one was. So I am forever cutting wrong wires in an attempt to diffuse the bomb that is getting a Curious Incident movie with Taron Egerton to happen.

What prompted me to write this was that a few days ago (Well, only yesterday from when I wrote this), I fell asleep and had an unsettling dream about a plane crashing, which was bad enough since I am a tad unnerved by the idea of flying anyway. However - because I am a scrub who thinks all dreams have meaning - I looked up on Google what a dream of such a thing means, and I found the following exurb from www.dreammoods.com:

To dream that a plane crashes signifies that you have set overly high and unrealistic goals for yourself. You are in danger of having those goals come crashing down. Alternatively, the crashing airplane represents your lack of confidence, self-defeating attitude and self-doubt.

 

Now you lot can believe whatever the fuck you like, I mean I believe dreams are a suppressed thought so that's why I look up things like this. So when I read that (Or something along those lines, I got a different exurb on my phone), it spoke so much volumes to me as it really is me in a nutshell. I have absolutely no confidence in myself, and for so long, I try and never think any bit about myself in a positive light in fear of seeming arrogant.

 

I was getting my hair cut recently and my hairdresser Michelle says that I am too down about myself, and since I never listen to myself because I could easily be like "Oh I am great, I'm the dog's bollocks", having heard those words from someone other than me obviously made me think. The fact that Michelle said that was because she wanted to know why I did not take pride in the fact that I am able to name every single Formula One world champion that there has ever been.

 

The reason why I don't "Own that shit" is because why should I if it's not useful? It's not as if I can make money off of knowing every one of the F1 champions since 1950, maybe in that ITV list show or Mastermind but that would only ever be good for the one time. It isn't just exclusive to that particular thing though, I put myself down in many other regards too.

 

Whilst speaking with Michelle, I was referring to a lady I really like (In my 'Change: From an autistic person' article - https://redsone-shot.blogspot.co.uk/2016/08/change-from-autistic-person.html - I allude to this same person) and Michelle kept hearing me tell myself that I wasn't outgoing like this same person, that my days consist of the same very basic things and I wasn't interesting or appealing. I don't consider myself depressed, I always just put all this down to being grounded and realistic.

 

An array of other things lead me to being the way I am, I never want to rate myself too highly in regards to anything, and that has led to me wanting to be positive but not seeing any line between optimism and arrogance in myself. Which is what leads onto again, my ambitions to make a Curious Incident movie.

 

So this all began around October last year when I made a friend in one of the major personnel of the Huntsman tailors in London, and I will refrain from telling anyone who this person is. She promised me that she would pass on any ideas I had to Matthew Vaughn for movies, and these movies are; Curious Incident as you lot may know, also a movie adaptation of the musical Memphis and I also wanted to propose some ideas for the third Kingsman film, as well as a few other things that I won't mention just yet.

 

I was absolutely elated with this, but this did not come without any self doubt. I mean, I'm just some guy who has now left college and chosen to not continue his education, and sits in his room for the most part playing video games and telling some random people on the internet some words that honestly, should not hold any more significance to their own. Why would - in my opinion (WHICH IS FACT, especially here) - the most talented action writer and director have any reason to pay any attention to me and not the next person?

 

It never just stemmed to Matthew Vaughn, it's the whole film industry in general. Why would these studios listen to me? It has been an uphill battle, and every day I would ask myself, what progress am I making whilst I am stuck here in my room?

 

By publishing my post, I thought I could generate some attention within the community of Taron Egerton fans among other communities, and the response was absolutely immense! I am forever grateful to every single one of you for spreading it, and I was hoping it could get to a greater level by using a similar method that led to Deadpool's rise to becoming a movie. I wasn't deluded to the fact that it wasn't going to succeed to an immense level, but I thought maybe just maybe, if there was someone who read this who knew the right people are had a greater following, this could happen.

 

That's the main thing here, I want to see this happen. Not because I want a movie made for me, I think there is mass interest for these movies to be made and I would not be pushing for it if I felt there would be no major interest in any of it happening. How many of you would watch a Curious Incident movie with Taron Egerton as Christopher? I know it can be great but I'm simply just one insignificant cog in the world that is a machine.

 

But if the movie Hugo taught me anything, it's that if you're any small part in any machine, you're there for a reason and whatever you do has any sort of consequence. Yes, I am very much aware I sound like some guy who posts an image on his Facebook of himself trying to look very spiritual and there's a choice of either inspirational quote, or lyrics from a trending song... All I'm saying is, I keep going with this, no matter how ridiculous I may seem in hopes that eventually, there is still the chance that it will happen.

At what cost though? I feel like I'll be laughed at and referred to as ridiculous for pushing for this. I'm also aware that I could be completely unreasonable with all this, but why would I have a right?

So all these self doubts, stem from the fact that I am forever trying to push for this to happen and I'm just sat in my room, hoping by some miracle, I have someone message me giving me hope or guaranteeing that Curious Incident will get made with Taron Egerton.

I don't want pity, I don't want any unfair advantage and when this is over, I would like to return to my life of obscurity. I'm going to continue thinking of ways to get noticed, I hope you liked what I had to say here, and don't forget to dream for yourself, okay?

Until we meet again,
Luca.



Live action Pokémon movie thoughts

Image courtesy of www.scifiaddicts.com

Hello you! The name is Luca, but you can call me Luca. So I'm a Pokémon fan, I think most people are these days, and to any of you who are all like "Oh, this grown man likes Pokémon? How childish", how many Snapchat pictures do you have with the dog filter and sticking your tongue out? Because a mature adult does that, surely. (Joke credit to GradeAUnderA)

The rise of Pokémon Go in the past few months has been a major surprise to everyone, myself included. I think the concept was genius, but I have not been getting myself stuck into it, as I never downloaded the app myself. Before anyone says anything though, I just never had the interest to play it, my decision was not swayed by the idea of being 'different', no way did it play a part at all.

I did however go on a few Pokémon Go walks with my friend Matthew and it was awesome, seeing people play the game and even talking to a mother and son, considering we would not have made eye contact with them if we weren't playing the game. Moving around our town with the particular gyms and Poké-stops, it was a rather surreal thing but very enjoyable.

So my personal history with Pokémon began with Diamond, and really I only stuck at the games for Generation Four, and personal favourite Pokémon of mine including Lucario, Blaziken, Absol, Milotic, Togekiss and most of all, Eevee and all of its evolutions. I've played it all, from Mystery Dungeon to Ranger, Battle Revolution to XD, even Sapphire and Fire Red.

The show in its many forms, I still continue to this day to enjoy. Seeing Ash Ketchum somehow remain 10 years old eternally as he travelled Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, Sinnoh, Unova and Kalos with his loyal and trustworthy Pikachu remain at his side among his many travelling partners, it still remains strong with its cult following and fanbase that transcends generations. All of this now, having been on the run for 20 years this year, now seems like the perfect time for a live action movie.

Now before we get into the nitty-gritty, I think it is going to be a foregone conclusion that these two points are raised, so allow me to answer them in as small a paragraph as possible. Firstly, yes traditional anime/manga has not transcended well to the big screen in the form of big budget Hollywood movies (Such as Dragonball and Airbender), but I think if any can, Pokémon will if they take some liberties. Second point, no doubt will the majority of the cast be 'Not-Asian', it's a topic I am not willing to discuss at length but I do think there is a prejudice in Hollywood against Asians, though not every circumstance is the same.

Basically, big budget Hollywood movies need a recognisable name, that's simple. But other circumstances are plain shameless, like the movie 'The Vow' with Channing Tatum and Rachel McAdams when it was and I quote "Inspired by true events" when what took place in the story happened to - if I am not mistaken - a Chinese couple, at least that was what I read. So whenever I see that on a film, I see it as a nice way of saying "This happened but to people who were Asian, if they were white then we would have had their actual names but since they're Asian, we won't because that won't appeal to a mass audience okay bye!".

Anyway, I got side-racked there. Back to the Pokémon live action movie!

Recently, Legendary Pictures were in negotiations to buy the rights to a Pokémon movie after Pokémon Go blew up, and I began speculating. All the possibilities that would stem from who would be the people portraying the characters? How would they develop the CGI to create the Pokémon? How would the story flow and what would it focus on?

As far as the question "Will they focus on Ash for a new character?", my answer is that they would for sure since we have come to know Pokémon as Ash and his Pikachu so it would make commercial sense to stick to basics and not take a risk. More on that now...

But nope! The Pokémon company said they intended to only sell the rights to one of their particular properties, and that property in question? None other than Detective Pikachu.

Image courtesy of www.ludomedia.it

Yes you heard that right, the definitive first ever live action Pokémon movie will be Detective fucking Pikachu... This is incredibly shit to the tenth degree and I am very disappointed with the Pokémon company.

Now let me get this out of the way immediately, I have no problem with the Detective Pikachu concept at all, it seems completely and utterly harmless. It is on the same level as all the other spin-off properties of Pokémon such as Ranger and Mystery Dungeon, but I would be just as furious with the idea of the first live action Pokémon movie being based on any of those.

Here's a challenge for you all, go to someone who isn't necessarily a massive Pokémon fanatic and ask them to explain for a summary of what Pokémon as a franchise is, and I guarantee you they're most likely to say something along the lines of it being centred on a trainer and his Pokémon. My point here being, this is not a traditional Pokémon movie and I think the Pokémon company have shot themselves in the foot.

If you're going to give the rights to a live action Pokémon movie, let it be a proper Pokémon story and not a spin-off of any kind, you either do that or you do not do it at all. What they've done is the equivalent of having DC kick off their movie universe with a movie centring on Plastic Man and not Superman or Batman.

This situation really winds me up because I saw a lot of potential in a Pokémon movie to be great if it was handled by the right people.

Recently, screenwriter Max Landis (Responsible for writing Chronicle, Me Him Her, Victor Frankenstein, American Ultra and Mr. Right) was proposing a Pokémon screenplay and whilst some of the minor details I reckon should have been changed, overall though it sounded absolutely incredible. Landis spoke at length that he wanted to make a Pokémon movie that was very true to the spirit of the source material, with him describing it as "A cute, happy, fun, sweet story" and had no asterisks, nothing to detract from what makes Pokémon what it is.

His screenplay centred on the character Red (The in game equivalent of Ash), a female friend of his who was rather tomboy like, Red's rival Blue (The in game equivalent of Gary), Red's mother who used to be a Pokémon trainer, her aged up Graveler who used to be a champion, Red's father who spends too much time in the city and a Koffing that he catches in the woods. All of this by the way was taken from an interview with Landis by Collider, which I will link here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unreFv-rQiM).

Landis went on to compare this pitch to the Harry Potter and Rocky franchise, with it being a coming of age story and it sounds absolutely incredible. I say this because one of my all time favourite movies was last year's Creed, the Rocky spin-off, and I adore that film for its coming of age story and how it is a true testament to being great, these major beats are perfect for Pokémon.

It is fair to say that as much as we love the show, it is cheesy and kid like, I mean I do not to fault it for that, but for the live action movie, we can't be doing with its cheesiness. That being said, it's easy to read that and think we need it to be "Dark", and "Gritty".. No way will we be having that at all, we live in a society now where we live for the glorifying of the cynical nature.

I despise how everything has to be dark and gritty, those words have lost all meaning. I guess since all of this was prompted by Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy, cheers Chris! You made some amazing movies with Batman but now everyone thinks it is the only way to go.. heck even next year's Power Rangers movie is following that same path, and the old Power Rangers shows were so cheesy, they could have been a pizza!

My favourite franchise-esque movie of recent times has been Kingsman, and that does not take itself so seriously at all. I'll always remember how much fun I had with that film, it hit the nail on the head of being purely entertaining and not just brooding nothing-ness, like Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice was.

That being said, it's also easy to detract from the movie quality and story just to make it light and that was an extreme that Avengers: Age Of Ultron demonstrated in not what to do. There can be a fine line between enjoyment, story quality and fun, and with the oversaturation of the D word and the G word being thrown around when describing movies, Pokémon should break that chain.

But of course, this can't happen, because Detective Pikachu is running the show. So let's forget that this bullshit is happening and think about a proper Pokémon movie, because it should happen.

First of all, it should focus on Ash and Pikachu since that is what we have come to know as Pokémon. I mean, if everything was dictated by me, we would not have Pikachu since I think it is one overrated and oversaturated Pokémon, but Pikachu is by far the most famous so it would make commercial sense as he and Ash are the faces of Pokémon.

One worry would be if people would understand that the live action movie would be a different timeline as to not be limited by what the show has done already, it would be a back to basis thing with the live action Pokémon movie. Ash meeting Pikachu and going on his journey.

Whilst we are on that very subject, let's talk about the story. Now all the traditional Pokémon games have all the same major beats; trainer is given their starter Pokémon, they then challenge all the gyms whilst simultaneously take on an organisation who seek to use the power of whatever legendary Pokémon is on the front of the game box in most circumstances, the trainer then goes to the Pokémon League and will take on the Elite Four and the Champion.

That seems like a hefty task for a movie with a run time of about two hours, and I would ensure it would be all resolved in a two hour run time due to the shit tonne of movies these days that are there just to set up movies that set up other movies. So what would we need to do in order to get it down to about a two hour run time?

I'm no screenwriter, so I'll leave that up to the people who know what they're doing and who are passionate about it. That being the polite way of saying, not someone who just shits out a boring action script to pull in the money as quickly as possible.

The thing that movies need to start having resolutions at the end of the film, not the trilogy or whatever 19th film they make however long down the line. So by having a traditional plot structure from a Pokémon game in one movie based narrative, we may have to cut a lot out and not detract from the major beats of the movie.

When it comes to casting, I haven't come up with anyone to play any of the major characters. My dear friend Morgan gets a shout out here, she and I are both Kingsman fans and she said that Taron Egerton as Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin in that movie reminded her of Ash so she suggested him. I am a big Taron Egerton fan but I'm unsure how I'd feel about that.

It is probably casting-wise, a stroke of genius but there are so many things to think about there, I will leave it all up to you.

One thing I am sure about, what other Pokémon I'd love for Ash to have. In the Gold, Silver and Crystal games, you battle Ash's in-game equivalent Red and along with a Pikachu, he has a Venasaur, Charizard, Blastoise, Snorlax and Espeon (Replaced by a Lapras in HeartGold and SoulSilver), so I'd like to see Ash with this team and see them grow.

His Pikachu as a starter, then catching a Bulbasaur, Charmander and Squirtle since they're the Kanto starters, an Eevee as well and maybe Snorlax already in its final form. We could see all of these Pokémon climb the ladder with Ash, and see them grow with him in the ways that Max Landis said would, just like in Rocky and Harry Potter.

Oh and before we end this, I would have liked to have helped out with special effects. I say this because whenever I watch the anime, all I ever see with colliding attacks are the same explosions and sparkly residue, and for the movie, I would have insisted on helping out in storyboarding and post production special effects in terms of how the moves used would work.

Anyway! I know this has been a ramble, and fairly unstructured and it was basically me blabbering but only because I see so much potential in a Pokémon movie being great and done right. But the Pokémon company insist on Detective Pikachu being able to solve this horrendous crime against the fans, so best of luck you lunatics!

So what do you think? Anyone out there willing to bring up other ideas, or fill in some blanks I left? I highly encourage you to leave a comment below.

But overall, I hope you like what I had to say. I am really hoping that the Pokémon company sees sense and let's us have a proper by-the-book Pokémon movie, rather than that stupid Detective Pikachu concept.

Alright! If you enjoyed this article, make sure to continue following me either via Twitter @TheLucaFormat or by email if you're on desktop, look to the top of the page and on the right hand side of the screen. Hope to see you back here soon.

Before I end this, I was writing an article on the F1 games but I'm not happy with it, so I decided to write this. I'll get back onto that as soon as possible.

That will be all everyone, so until we meet again.

Luca

My top five favourite vehicles in GTA Online

Hello you, the name is Luca but you can call me Luca. So I've made it no secret that I enjoy GTA Online a lot, it is perhaps my favourite game right now for many reasons, a few of which I shall be covering in this post.

 

If any of you know me, you may know how much I am into my cars, and this was my main reason behind getting GTA. I had been watching YouTube gamers such as Vanoss and TheGamingLemon (The latter plays a major role later on) and having only ever played motorsport games like the Codemasters F1 titles and Gran Turismo, among many others throughout my life time. GTA was my first non motorsport centred game title.

 

It showed, I must admit. I was rubbish throughout the first few weeks, I was a complete and utter noob in the gun combat sequences during story mode. I persevered and after booting up my GTA Online character in February 2014 on the PlayStation 3, I have been continuing to enjoy it and get better ever since, having hit level 500 recently on my PlayStation 4.

 

So now onto the vehicles, and this is something I really like about GTA having now been playing it for nearly two and a half years. When on games like Gran Turismo, I preferred having the cars be bog standard due to contrast that would result between a standard let's say, Ferrari 458 Italia, and a fully modified one just makes it no different to a fully modified Mercedes SLS in terms of sound and driving. It makes them lose character when you fully modify a car on Gran Turismo.

 

On GTA, you can personalise a car or a motorcycle but the final result is still its own thing. I personally give a crap but since the cars in GTA are fictional, I am also not restricted in what I can make believable and also characterful in terms of the vehicles in the game, since none of them are real.

 

Before I begin, this list is purely a personal list along with a written out reason as to why I have a favourite vehicle. If there's one thing I can't stand, it is those baseless and soulless lists that aren't expanded upon or based on anything that is not facts, so I intend not to do that. Now ladies and gentlepersons, the moment you have all been waiting for, Luca from Red's One-Shot's top five favourite vehicles in GTA Online.

 

Oh and just so you know, all the images provided are my own and I took from my Snapmatic on my Rockstar Social Club page.

 

Anyway! First up, number five. It was released in July 2015 as part of the Ill-Gotten Gains Part 2 update, at a cost of $695,000. This car if you haven't worked it out already, is the Invetero Coquette BlackFin.

 

Me with my BlackFin and in my 'Hoodini' outfit.

Based on the Chevrolet Corvette C1 from 1956-1957. Now as a rule I don't normally like Muscle cars and I have had quite the strange relationship with the BlackFin, having owned one multiple times and having hesitance towards how I felt about it.

 

During a period that I did not have the car, me and my friends did a VIP mission called 'Asset Recovery' in which we had to steal a Benefactor Stirling GT (Mercedes-Benz 300SL) and a BlackFin. One of my friends took the Stirling so I drove the BlackFin, and on my way to the drop off point, I fell in love with its sound, how light and maneuverable it was and yet even with that, it still felt a complimentary drivers car with how it flowed from corner to corner, and made you feel at reason for the way it drove.

 

Before March this year, the BlackFin was on the competitive end of the Muscle class cars in terms of race winning capabilities along with the Vapid Dominator (Ford Mustang), the Imponte Dukes (Dodge Charger) and an array of other impressive Muscle cars. Since March though, we have had a car completely dominate the Muscle class in the Declasse Sabre Turbo Custom (An amalgamation of many old muscle cars), an overpowered Lowrider car.

 

Even with the inclusion of the now quicker equivalent of the Dominator with the Pisswasser livery racecar version though, the BlackFin is still my favourite. Whilst the Sabre Turbo Custom can go whatever speed possible round a corner, it lacks character and almost feels robot like when you do, it does all the difficult bits for you in that sense.

 

On the other end of the spectrum, we have the Pisswasser Dominator which is a great car to drive, as it is the complete opposite of the Sabre Turbo Custom. The Pisswasser Dominator makes you do all the hard work, and it really flatters you when you drive it, though it is one difficult bugger. That's where the Coquette BlackFin comes in, which nails the fine line between easy to drive quickly yet still having a sense of flattery when you nail a corner, like you did the work and not the car.

 

My personal BlackFin has a red and white finish, and after being unsure of what wheels to have for so long, I fitted it with a set of whitewall tyres and gave it a red finish on the outer wheel rim, mimicking that of a set of tyres I believe were called 'Lowrider' that I unlocked in Rocket League. Every time I drive the BlackFin, I love to let off the throttle and hear its amazing engine crackle on the overrun, and along with pretty much the rest of my list, it sits in my main garage.

 

It is unfortunate that I can't use it to win Muscle races anymore, but driving it is a pleasure enough and that's why it sits at number five on my list.

 

Now onto number four. This was released in June 2015 as a part of the Ill-Gotten Gains Part 1 update and of course by being in the Supers class, it would end up being the most in-demand car in the game, but only for a month. At a cost of a small loan of $1,950,000 I give you, the Pegassi Osiris.

 

Me with my Osiris and in my 'Driver' outfit.

If you can't tell already, the Osiris is based on the Pagani Huayra. The Osiris is a very unique car to drive, it requiring a very precise and smooth style as if it would plead with you to be less Lewis Hamilton more Jenson Button.

 

It doesn't want you to throw it into corners, the Osiris is best suited to someone who can hold the car in a corner and take as much speed into a corner with as minimal input as possible. In that regard, it really suits me as a driver and before the most recent update 'Cunning Stunts' which added three completely over-powered cars (Progen Tyrus, Emperor ETR-1 and Annis RE-7B), the Osiris would always be one of my main picks for races with mountain roads and I won many races.

 

When I first got the car, I had a few nags about it. First of all, the Osiris in the game is a Pegassi and that was always something that annoyed me because a very similarly quick car called the Zentorno was also a Pegassi. This bugged me because the Osiris is based on a Pagani and the Zentorno is a Lamborghini, which despite the fact it is stated by GTA Wiki that Pegassi is an amalgamation of both manufacturers as well as motorcycle brands Ducati and Piaggio.

 

I always felt like the in-game brand Lampadati deserved to helm the Pagani imitations within GTA Online since it did not have any primary Italian manufacturer to use for car inspirations within the Supers class, as so far Lampadati have been responsible for in-game Maserati and Lancia cars. That will seemingly forever bug me, as I want to be able to speak about the Osiris and Zentorno as rivals yet somehow they're made by the same in-game manufacturer, but oh well!

 

When I bought my Osiris, I got it in yellow and it never sat well with me for a while as it resembled a car I'll mention later on in this list, but my friend George suggested I painted it white and I just fell in love with it. Having had this emotional roller coaster with the Osiris, it sits firmly on this list as another personal favourite of mine.

 

Onto number three, and a break from the performance vehicles. So this car made its debut in GTA Online in June 2016 with the Further Adventures in Finance and Felony update (Always thought that title could have had some refinement but that's neither here nor there). It will cost you $900,000 to buy, it is a part of the Coupes class and this car came out of nowhere for me, when I had dismissed it at first in favour of its many counterparts in the update, only to see one and be amazed.

 

I am of course talking about, the Enus Windsor Drop.

 

Me with my Windsor Drop and in my 'Kingsman' outfit.

To provide some context, there had been a Windsor in GTA before the Drop version, when Ill-Gotten Gains Part 1 was released. I had owned it for a while but one thing that always annoyed me was the fact that they did not give the Windsor what is commonly known as "Suicide Doors" which are doors that open backwards, just like the real life counterpart of the Windsor, which is a Rolls Royce Wraith.

 

When I saw the trailer for Finance and Felony, I was gawking over the Vapid FMJ (New Ford GT), the Pegassi Reaper (Lamborghini Huracán) and the Grotti Bestia GTS (Ferrari FF) plus with only the shot of the front of the Windsor Drop, I was not phased by it. I just saw it as a convertible version of the regular Windsor, with its two doors and ability to seat only two passengers. Then came the day of the update.

 

I was driving one of the three new cars I mentioned back to one of my apartments and I saw a Windsor Drop parked out on the street and much to my surprise, it had four doors and as a result, the ability to seat four people. For those of you who don't know much about cars, four door convertible cars are completely unheard of, at least there aren't any proper production cars on sale today that are like that. So to see the Windsor Drop be able to seat four people and have a folding roof, just amazed me and my friends are probably already sick of me now.

 

Not exaggerating, I'd offer my friends such as Charlie, Oscar and Ahmed a ride and drive them around like I was a chauffer and they were some kind of royalty, then again with the CEO and VIP features, it was never a long shot to insist on it. I would put the roof down with them in the back whilst we parade around Los Santos and Blaine County, looking for crates or fulfilling mission objectives.

 

I like the Windsor Drop so much, I have actually wrote a letter off to Rolls Royce asking them to create a real life equivalent of the Windsor Drop with its four doors and folding roof combination, I have had no response yet but I feel it is something they'd be interested to pursue. We have had many old four door convertible Rolls back in the early days, so I don't see why there can't be one nowadays.

 

My Windsor sits in my main garage as my primary vehicle to move around up to four players, and I have it in a white finish with a sandy brown soft top, an aluminium finish on the bonnet and boot, and wheels that closely resemble that of the Rolls Royce Phantom in real life. It is cemented in third place on my list, probably being the elephant in the room as the only non pure performance vehicle, but I have my reasons as I have just stated there.

 

Back to the usual group of high performance cars, and both of the following are cars that were in the game from the start and are from the same manufacturer. First up, a car that costs $195,000 to buy in the game and sits in the Sports class, the Grotti Carbonizzare.

 

Me with my Carbonizzare and in my 'Eggsy' outfit.

There are certainly cars that were quicker than the Carbonizzare when the game was first released, and even more that have been released later down the line, but the Carbonizzare for me has remained above them all for many reasons. Other than it actually being an amazing car to actually drive, it offers an experience that I won't ever have (Most likely) in real life.

 

One reason why I love GTA, it offers me a sense of living the high life. The endless possibilities that GTA provides as a sandbox game, the way you choose to live and play can have a proper emotional reaction to you as a player, and I have watched in both awe and jealousy of the people who are privileged enough to be able to house such amazing cars and live such a prestigious life.

 

The Carbonizzare for me, is a car that encompasses all the things that we aspire to achieve, as a grand touring ground coverer, a hard top foldaway roof convertible and a sports car that will encourage you to push harder and enjoy driving across some great roads. Every time I put the roof down when I drive close to the beach, I dream of what it may be like one day to live this sort of lifestyle, where I can put the roof down in the sun and drive a car like this.

 

For those of you who don't know, the Carbonizzare is based on the Ferrari California and this was for a very long time, my favourite in-real-life car, and for the same reasons, I loved the California because it was my look into the lifestyle of someone living the high life. The Carbonizzare for me, may be dismissed in the eyes of many players now as just a slow car, but I buy cars in GTA not only for speed, but for the experience of owning it and the pleasure of driving it.

 

Now the moment you have all been waiting for, Luca from Red's One-Shot's number one favourite vehicle in GTA Online. By now, I have already said it is a Grotti and it has been in the game since the start, so for any of you lot out there who said the Stinger or the Stinger GT.. you are incorrect.

 

Well I do own the Stinger GT, I love and own all the Grotti cars in GTA Online but this has been and always will be, my favourite car in the whole game. At the small price of $650,000 and a part of the Supers class, I give you the Grotti Cheetah.

 

Me with my Cheetah and in my 'Red' outfit.

This by the way, is the car I was referring to earlier in this list when I was talking about how I did feel right having my Osiris in yellow, and the Cheetah has broken the chain in terms of cars I have put on this list when it comes to colours. All of them have either been red, white or both, and the Cheetah is yellow.

 

My relationship with the Cheetah is one of pure coincidence. The Cheetah is based on the Ferrari Enzo, which was the car that got me into cars when I first saw it being driven by Jeremy Clarkson in his 2005 DVD 'Heaven and Hell'. Fast forward to around 2013, I saw a video by TheGamingLemon on GTA with a yellow Grotti Cheetah in which he dubbed it "The Lemon-mobile", and I was in absolute awe of it.

 

When I did get GTA eventually, I refused for the longest time to buy it because I wanted to be able to fully upgrade it once I did get it. When you start out in GTA, in order to upgrade cars you have to level up and win a certain amount of races and for some reason, I refused to buy the car until I would be able to fully upgrade it, no idea why.

 

But when I finally obtained my yellow Grotti Cheetah, it felt incredible. Driving this car is a very rapid experience yet not overwhelming, with it not being very powerful and having extremely responsive handling capabilities, you can just fling it into corners at unbelievable speeds.

 

The Cheetah is a joke to some people, with people dismissing it almost immediately, and when compared to its many counterparts, the Cheetah does seem to indeed lack behind performance wise but maybe it gets too much of a bad wrap. I was in total shock to find out that in the first year of GTA Online, the Cheetah was actually out sold by the Pegassi Vacca (Lamborghini Gallardo).

 

I mean if I remember correctly, the only three cars that out sold the Cheetah and the Vacca were the Truffade Adder (Bugatti Veyron), the Cheetah's sister car the Turismo R (Ferrari LaFerrari) and the Pegassi Zentorno (Lamborghini Veneno/Sesto Elemento). Those lot I get, since the Adder being based on the Veyron and also being available from the start meant a lot of people assumed it was the best car.

 

Then the Turismo R and Zentorno arrived in March and May 2014 as a part of the Business and High Life updates respectively, and they were the must haves since they were the new flavours of the month. But the Vacca? I did own one for a while but it was nothing special, it felt a bit wooden and I sold it not long afterwards.

 

The Cheetah no matter how much of a great car it actually is, it will always be dismissed in favour of chrome Adders with pink stripes, whitewall tyres with pink dollar sign rims, pink neon lights and tyre smoke, and a clown horn. I don't like to come across as a hipster - that being, counter culture thinking - but the fact that Cheetah cars are very rarely seen, I don't try and take pride in owning a Cheetah, it's more the idea I pity someone who doesn't see what I see about the Cheetah.

 

And that's the thing about anything! If someone came up to me and tried to talk about why they loved something that to me, seemed like nothing more than an inanimate object to me, and could make a great case, I'd be able to listen to them for quite a while.

 

That is what these things do. For me, cars elicit an emotional response and that's why we have favourites of most things in our life, that's what I am trying to say here. If any of you can make a case as to why you like whatever you do, it will always make for a great read, as I was inspired to do this list after one of my favourite YouTubers Broughy1322 did his top five favourite vehicles in GTA Online.

 

Over the past few weeks on Twitter, I have seen trends regarding people's Top Seven Favourites everything from YouTubers to movies. But because Twitter limits us to 140 characters and quantity outweighs quality, nobody could really go into depth as to why, so that's why I'm making a case for my favourite vehicles in GTA Online.

 

Because everything that we hold personally to us as a 'favourite', there has to be a reason. Why does the Coquette BlackFin, the Osiris, the Windsor Drop, the Carbonizzare and the Cheetah make up my list of favourite vehicles in GTA Online? None of them are the fastest in their class around a track, but I don't care because what to you are digital creations that really don't actually exist, are things that I hold dearly to me for the reasons I just stated.

 

You may very well love something I don't, but if you make a case for it, I'd be more than willing to listen. So if you have a blog or a YouTube channel or whatever you can use, I encourage you to not just list your favourite things one by one, but tell us why they are. Heck, even if nobody gives a crap to watch in the thousands, it may be very insightful and helpful for yourself and others in order to articulate a justification as to why they like something.

 

Alright! I hope you were entertained. If you want to stick around for more, you can follow me on Twitter @TheLucaFormat where I tweet out whenever I post, or you can subscribe via email if you're on the desktop version of the site.

 

Remember this everyone, if you do make your own version of this list, make sure you have something to say. Feel free to send me a link to your own list and I'll give it a read/watch whatever.

 

So I hope you all have a lovely day, and until we meet again.

 

Luca.

A rant on paid TV

Image courtesy of www.playbuzz.com

Hello you. The name is Luca, but you can call me Luca and this post will have a serious and even possibly, a pathetic tone to it. Over the past few days, we have been getting Sky installed as our new provider after we have been with Virgin Media for a while, and it has been rather stressing for me.

 

The reason for that? My parents as I have stated before, were paying for Sky Sports, BT Sport, Netflix and Amazon Prime, and I was really grateful to them. A couple of weeks back, they had to cancel Netflix but my brother agreed to share his Netflix two-platform subscription with me so I thought all would be good.

 

Then we began the transition from Virgin Media to Sky Broadband, and now we have just finished setting it all up, and well would you look at this! So we now have to pay for Eurosport, and it's the last straw, I am giving up on all this shit.

 

So to why I am stressed, well my parents do so much for me and I never ever want to ask for too much out of them. So what happens? They're having to pay however much a month for F1, MotoGP/IndyCar, World Endurance Championship/World Superbikes, the Marvel exclusive shows on Netflix (Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Luke Cage etc.) and finally, The Grand Tour (With the old Top Gear trio). So much fucking money per month, and I've reached boiling point.

 

Not only this, but I am an avid gamer. If you've been stalking me, you'll know I love to play with my friends on PlayStation 4 and on such games as Grand Theft Auto V, Rocket League etc. and because of the nature of how games are these days, we have DLC and the need for in game money so I purposely limit what games I decide to buy and don't just buy anything. When there's a new update on GTA, I ask for a bit of money and that's that, I don't want to have to spend so much more on other games.

 

Now before any of you say anything, I know. I am very much aware that these are companies that are in the business of making money, I could not be more aware of such a basic reason to ever do anything. If there's anyone who doesn't enter some kind of business for something other than the money, then that's weird.

 

What really bothers me, I want to watch all this motorsport and it has become so difficult to access. We were constantly trying to pay for all these subscriptions and it became fucking ridiculous, to the point now that I have just given up. "But Luca, why don't you just ask a friend to borrow their Netflix or whatever you need?", well random person who was just conjured up from my imagination just so I could answer something and is now insignificant again, I could do that but it would for me, not feel morally correct.

 

I would not feel right using someone else's Netflix if I wasn't paying them, I am not a freeloader. That's why even with my brother offering me the ability to use his Netflix, I'm struggling to accept if I am not in any way contributing to the payment or giving him something in return. I imagine a lot of you would be like "FREE NETFLIX!? Of course I'll have that", but I can't do that at all.

 

So I have decided that whatever I need to end up paying for, such as BT for the MotoGP and the IndyCar, Eurosport for the World Superbikes and Le Mans/WEC, I am not going to bother. It has got to a point where I have to have so many fingers in so many pies, that I am just done.

 

I know I referenced Jeremy Jahns in my last post, but I am going to use him again in this post. If you lot didn't read my last post about the movie Rush, Jeremy Jahns is a YouTube movie reviewer with nearly 1.2 million subscribers. He uploaded a video when Star Wars Battlefront was released, speaking about why he was refusing to buy the game due to the ridiculous-ness of the price. Infact this video became so popular, it was on the front page of Reddit.

 

He spoke about the preposterousness of paying $60 for the game then buying another fraction of the game for another $50, even going on to compare it to Destiny's pricing of its core game and three title updates (Two previous ones) and making you have to pay for a full game when you were really only buying one new update. I did not speak about gaming fully because I have it relatively easy, with only one major game attacking my wallet (Or my parent's wallet) right now.

 

Jeremy went on to say that if we speak with our wallets, we do make a difference. That if we don't give the companies our money, they do need to re-evaluate, and I say this now having spoken to my mum about the issue with spending all this money on all this, I still don't know if I can have BT and Eurosport or if I feel right having to cause more paying headaches. Though I have said I will personally have the BT and Eurosport funded out of my bank, it still may not be a guaranteed thing.

 

But as for speaking with our wallets; I'll have BT and Eurosport to pay for, I've got Assetto Corsa, F1 2016 and Gran Turismo Sport all ready to buy for PS4 with the inevitable upgrades that I'll need to pump real world money into along with a PS4 steering wheel, I have the new router I'll have to pay for to strengthen the connection in my room, and I like going to the cinema a lot. Having just had a meeting with my bank to obtain my account (Which for obvious reasons, I will not spill any details whatsoever on), where does it end?

 

I mean, the only crumb of consolation I have is the fact that I don't cause any sort of issues for my parents like being drunk or bringing the police to the door. But it still raises more questions than answers. I'm not going to be a dick and be like "Go protest, stand for what is right!", I get money is what makes the world go round. But if you speak with your wallet, the environment will have to change.

So I guess what I am saying is, everything is so difficult to access for so many people. This does not affect me personally but there are some broadband networks that are completely incapable of accessing Sky and therefore as of now, it means there are many people who even if they wanted to watch all the races live, they can't. Not only that but as of 2018 or 2019, the 'free-to-air' TV that shows half the races live and half the races as extended highlights (BBC and in recent years Channel 4) will not be available and you can only be able to watch F1 through Sky.

This really is a massive kick in the teeth to us motorsport fans. I imagine it'll be the same with other sports, I wouldn't know though since I do not follow any other forms of sport, but do we have to be selective with what forms of sport we watch simply because of a monetary greed? Businesses out there, I get it, you want to make money. But don't fuck around with the customer, they are the ones who give you this opportunity, they deserve a lot better.

 

No clue how to end this blog post, but the evening I wrote this post was lightened up by the following (Be aware this is detached from the rest of my post). My older brother just found his old Pokémon Game Boy Colour with a Pikachu and Pichu on it, along with his three Generation II games (Gold, Silver and Crystal) in which he has on all three, a Level 100 Feraligatr (Apparently).

 

He currently has a broken ankle, and him digging up his old Game Boy will give him something to do whilst it heals. Afterwards though, he has not fully decided yet but he is thinking about selling it, though hold your horses because we already have a buyer.

 

My closest friend Nadine is a huge Pokémon fan just like myself, I've mentioned her in a post of mine before. She and I love MotoGP and Pokémon and I even gave her the nickname Eevee, because I absolutely adore that Pokémon.

 

Whilst I was negotiating the deal, I was talking to the lovely Twitch streamer Zearxy who also wanted in on the deal. We all agreed should my brother decide to sell the game (We are not forcing him), Nadine gets the Game Boy and Crystal and Zearxy gets Silver. The best part of all of it though, I really like.

 

Nadine offers to draw my brother a picture of his favourite Pokémon Snorlax as well as paying him, me and her as the Pokémon Riolu and Eevee since I always picture myself as a Riolu or Lucario, and Nadine is also going to draw a picture of Zearxy's favourite Pokémon Jigglypuff - to which Zearxy answered "I can't wait to see it!". So that has brightened up my evening, and if I can't get BT or Eurosport now, then all of this has been something that has made me smile at this moment.

 

Oh and before I forget, I recently got in touch with the National Autistic Society regarding the post I wrote a few days ago, 'Change - From an autistic person'. Today I got an email back from them saying they will be taking my post into consideration and will get back to me, so I will keep you all up to date with that when there are further developments.

 

Alright! That is all for me today, I thank you all for reading. If you decide to stick around, either follow me on Twitter @TheLucaFormat if you want to be notified of when I post next or if you're on your computer and can see a 'Follow By Email' option, put your email address in that and you'll be sent an email when I post.

 

So until we meet again.

Luca

Why I love Rush

Image courtesy of www.fansshare.com

Hello you! The name is Luca, but you can call me Luca. Before I get into my post today, I want to thank the lot of you for reading my most recent post, and the response has been immensely overwhelming and I have the utmost gratitude for you all. So again, I thank you all.

There is a part of me that was very unnerved by writing that and letting it out there for everyone to read, it was difficult to write but it was very worth it. Anyway, you've heard me wax lyrical about you lot enough now, let's get on with this new post. Let's talk about Rush.

When I started this blog, I wanted to write about a particular something that I have a strong feeling about and hope to explain why in such a manner that it is, not shit. So today, I am focussing on the Ron Howard directed Formula One movie Rush, which is for me, a very important movie and one I hold closely to my heart.

For those of you who don't know, I am a big motorsport fan. I'll watch any motorsport you throw at me, with the exception of a very select few like Isle of Man-esque motorcycle racing, NASCAR or old car style club racing. Not that I don't respect the people who compete or the fans who watch, those forms of motorsport are just not my cup of tea.

But even with the fair few forms of motorsport I don't watch, all forms of motorsport are still motorsport and unfortunately, there is a social stigma held against motorsport in the eyes of those who don't see how it is a sport or how it is cool. At least from where I am coming from, since I experienced quite the dismissive nature against motorsport when I was in secondary school, with only the fair few agreeing with me.

Whilst football is - and always will be - the most popular sport, I never asked for motorsport to be more popular, I just despise the pessimism and the lack of people who 'get it'. I remember when my form class in 2010 was told of a competition to go to that year's British Grand Prix (I was already going with my dad so I didn't bother) and after we were told, someone sat directly to the table behind me said out loud, "Why would anyone go watch a bunch of cars driving round and round in circles?".

I did react the way a passionate motorsport fan would, I shouted at her and she shat herself, she tried to make me feel bad, which in hindsight I do wish I did not raise my voice, but I can't fix it now. But this negative perception of motorsport contributed to me not perhaps involve myself with many others, not that I blame myself or anyone, I don't hold it against them that they didn't like what I liked. So fast forward to when Rush came out.

Having not spoken at length about the film, I probably should have already but I will later on, overall I loved it when I saw it and the build up to it. The hype in the motorsport community that finally, we could possibly have a decent and serious representation of a dramatised film with motorsport playing a major part in it. What examples have we had? Le Mans and Grand Prix are the only two I can think of off the top of my head, but they were made back in the late 60's early 70's. Not discrediting them at all but you won't see any of them being in theatres right now.

It is safe to say that for the most part, movies have not done a lot to paint motor racing in a particularly decent light. Driven for instance starring Sylvester Stallone and Burt Reynolds, was insultingly dumb and I'd rather yank out my eyes out my sockets and slash the tube keeping it connected than watch any more frames from it, and whilst Talladega Nights was plain awesome, it was still very in-your-face American dumb (In the best way possible).

So as far as serious and very much decent representation of motor racing, it had been a while. But when Rush was released, oh my gosh did it live up to the hype! In his review of the movie, Jeremy Jahns - my favourite YouTube movie reviewer, who has nearly 1.2 million subscribers - made him care to find out more about F1 racing. He gave it his most positive rating of "AWESOMETACULAR" and even ranked it 6th in his Top 10 movies of 2013.

Back to another point I was making earlier about how my peers saw motorsport, I remember going to the cinema to see Rush for the 56th time and I saw a bunch of people from secondary school, such as my good friend Joanna. I asked what they were going to see and Joanna told me Rush as it "seemed like a cool movie" and I was invited to sit with them (If I remember correctly, I probably just sat there and they were too polite to tell me to do one).

It felt awesome knowing some form of motorsport had transcended to seem appealing to the outside majority who as a rule, never saw the appeal in F1. So where does all this stem from? I haven't told any of you what the plot of this movie is, which I do apologise for.

The film follows Britain's James Hunt (Chris Hemsworth - Thor in the Marvel Cinematic Universe) and Austria's Niki Lauda (Daniel Brühl - Helmut Zemo in Captain America: Civil War and Frederick Zoller in Inglorious Basterds). Both could not be further from each other in how they go about things, with Hunt being charismatic, handsome and widely loved and someone who seeks to have fun and enjoy himself, living it up and knowing fine well that he could die tomorrow so he looks to live for the moment.

In comparison to Lauda, who sees the game of Formula One as a thinking man's sport, that you need to take emotion out of it and be a methodical person, it will benefit you more as a driver. The pair of them really are the cheese and chalk of racing, and both look to make their mark on the world however they can.

What I love about this movie - among the many things I love - is that neither individual is painted as the protagonist and antagonist, you just see two men with different perspectives, and it can make you flip flop between which one you support. This is even the case for me, as someone who really doesn't like Niki Lauda.

Oh did I mention this was a true story? This did actually happen and when you watch it, you'll be in utter disbelief how Hollywood-esque this story really is. They do take some liberties but not to an incredible extent, the narrative plays out pretty much exactly how it happened.

You see both Lauda and Hunt's rise through the lower formulae, into F1 in perhaps widely regarded as the most dangerous era of the sport and we see them push each other to their physical and psychological breaking points, in a game where there can be no margin for error. If you made a mistake, you die. Lauda almost did.

Infact the 1st August this year marked 40 years since Lauda had a narrow escape from death at the 1976 German Grand Prix when chasing down Hunt at the Nürburgring, and this movie executes this to such an incredible extent. When director Ron Howard was a guest on Top Gear, he spoke about how the actual Niki Lauda saw this part of the film and was amazed by what he didn't see around the time of the accident, how his wife was feeling when Niki was trying his utmost to get back to the car, which he did in only six weeks.

Rush is an extraordinary movie about two individuals who want to be great. It was seen as an Oscar darling but it was barely nominated for a single Oscar, when at the very least I was expecting Daniel Brühl to get nominated for his portrayal of Niki Lauda. It was complete injustice, and not reflective of what the film deserved.

This next point is another thing I love about Rush, it is the film that made me mad about films.

For the first time, I saw what makes a great movie, its story. You cannot have a film if the story is not compelling, and now I know you cannot just make a movie about anything, it has to grip you with its narrative. Rush does that, and thanks to Rush, I get why movies are made.

To fulfil our desire to tell these stories. There's a quote that former Collider and AMC Movie Talk show head John Campea once said that always stuck with me, storytelling is a human instinct, we are storytellers. It transcends age, nationality, gender, economic status, sexual orientation and it can affect us all in so many ways emotionally, whether it be feel good, thought-provoking, storytelling can do that. There are so little things left in our existence that offer that kind of opportunity, great stories can do that.

Rush was the film that made me realise that it isn't primarily just the imagery or just "cool stuff", it's that emotional grab that hooks you into its narrative. I mean, I would not be campaigning for Curious Incident or the Memphis musical to become movies if the stories were crap, wouldn't I?

I highly recommend this movie if you're wanting to watch a great character rivalry. The fact that so many of my friends - who are not F1 fans - have seen it and loved it, should speak volumes in that you don't need to be a motor racing fan to enjoy this movie.

My final point, I hope Rush prompts more films to be made about this amazing sport. I've heard a lot about the possibility that Ayrton Senna may have a biographical film made about him with Rodrigo Santoro portraying the three-time champion. Yes I am aware that we had a documentary film about him from Asif Kapadia (Director also of Amy, the documentary about Amy Whinehouse), but a dramatised biopic will surely garner more attention, not that the 2011 Senna documentary wasn't brilliant and worthy of its success.

We also have two separate big-budget and high-profile films about Enzo Ferrari in the making. One focusing on the latter part of his life with Robert De Niro portraying the il Commendatore and directed I believe by Clint Eastwood. The other that has been in the making for about two decades with Michael Mann directing and focusing on the earlier part of Ferrari's life, who had cast Christian Bale before he dropped out due to health concerns.

I hope we see motorsport in movies portrayed in a very respectable and interesting manner. As Ron Howard noted after the first screening of Rush in July 2013 at the Nürburgring during the German Grand Prix weekend, everyone left the screening afterwards with a feeling of mesmerisation and gratitude that their sport had been centred on in such a way, that he could only compare it to the experience he had after screening Apollo 13 for the people at NASA.

Because the motorsport community don't have many portrayals of what we love out there for the outside world to see and marvel at. So filmmakers out there, you have so many stories that can be created out of motorsport, whether fiction or not, just make sure to do them right. Oh and whoever is behind the Senna movie with Rodrigo Santoro, please make it happen.

Alright! Thank you all who have decided to check out my post. If you want to be notified of when I next post, enter your email in the Follow By Email or follow me on Twitter @TheLucaFormat, oh and I realise if you're on phone or not on the desktop version, the Follow By Email option isn't available. Which is unfortunate.

But before I do go, I want to go ahead and give a special shout out to a friend who just started a blog. Her name is Richelle, she and I were in the same AS English Language and Literature class in college, and she also played a considerable role in my last blog post becoming as popular as it was.

The blog she started, here's the link: http://shelbylouu.simplesite.com/

She has not made her mind up with what she plans to write about. I'd suggest you lot head over there and wait to see if what she ends up writing does interest you, but you're all probably here from her so it may be unnecessary that I'm publicising her. It would be like a YouTuber with a three figure digit of subscribers spamming "EVERYONE GO WATCH PEWDIEPIE".

I'm not exaggerating by the way. My other blog posts get just under 30 if I'm lucky, but with Richelle's help on my last post, 160 views as of now. So if you have not come from Richelle publicising this post and you decide to check her out, I thank you.

That will be all for now everyone. So until we meet again.

Luca

Change - From an autistic person

Hello you, the name is Luca but you can call me Luca. I am writing this for myself, but I may publish it later on down the line.

I'm a 19-year old from North East England with autism. When writing this at first, I purposefully don't say I have autism because unfortunately for me, autism has become somewhat of an excuse, at least that was through my experience in secondary school. I have regrets with how I handled myself in the past regarding my autism, and I hate to ever bring it up.

Apparently I have high functioning autism, so I am able to think for myself but like everyone else (This is not just an autism exclusive thing), I have difficulties. Primarily, change.

So I have a fairly structured life, and after I left college, I have been wondering how my life is going to change. Since I left, I have been working with a few people in recent weeks to get a job, so that is obviously a good thing, but what I am worried about is how my life is going to go afterwards.

Right now, I have a fairly relaxed routine in my life. I have a chilled orange Lucozade on a morning, I play a lot on my PS4 with my friends, I hang out with my childhood best mate Matthew occasionally and I see many movies. I've said this before, I am grateful for what I have and never want to take too much, I seek to give back to the world.

But with giving back, will mean change, and I rarely react well to change. Not that I don't want to, I really do but when I consider a lot of things before they happen, the possibilities do overwhelm me.

The reason that prompted me to write this, there's this absolutely lovely lady I know. We aren't close, infact we only really speak when we had the chance briefly back in college but every time I would see her out and about, she would smile the bonniest smile at me and wave, and I'd reciprocate however I knew I could.

I have been encouraged by a dear friend to talk to her, but I am discouraged not only by the fact that we barely know each other, but by what would lie ahead as far as relationships go should I pursue one with her. It's a scary thought, and perhaps an unnecessary one since nobody should fear for that the second they start thinking about talking to a girl they like, but the issue stems to more than that.

Back in December, I actually got into a relationship (Briefly) with a girl who said she liked me, and I liked her. We kissed, and we walked to our class together before she disappeared - I assume back to her friends - and broke up with me, and so that was the time that I was played, however that isn't important to my point.

In that brief quarter of an hour that I was in what I thought would end up being, my first proper in-real-life relationship, I did think a lot about how to be a good boyfriend. Up until that point, all my past partners had been over the phone, and I had the cushion of only really going to my phone to speak to them.

But this, a relationship with someone who I could interact with in the flesh on a seemingly daily basis was and as we know, still is such an alien thing for me. Very rarely do I really leave my house, and on the rare occasion that I do, I'm with my friend Matthew or other friends like Ash or Lauren etc.

So just to solidify my point, I rarely do new stuff, heck I don't even drink alcohol and I never really go to parties or big social events at all. The idea of being with someone who I'd care about, would open me up to so many possibilities that I know would be out of my comfort zone, it intrigues me but I do worry about change, about seeming like a hindrance to everyone around me because of my complete lack of adaptability.

What would someone see in me? A boring and introverted individual? What new possibilities are there in a relationship? How would I be a decent partner? So many questions.

It does not just stem into relationships. I recently left college and now I want to work, I do not feel in good conscience just sitting in my house all day playing GTA and Rocket League. But I do have reservations about first of all, how I do earn my job, I want to earn it and not get gifted it and knowing I won't be perceived as having earned it because I did not go to university.

Secondly, what will come of it? Interacting with co-workers, the public, my superiors, heck they're probably reading this and mocking me, but for all I care, they can do one the insensitive (Insert word here after my mum reads this).

But if I can help someone with the same problem, I feel I will have been justified in writing this. The necessity of knowing how to articulate what concerns you, the removal of a routine and the many possibilities of the road your life heads down can prompt you to ask these questions. This is beginning to sound more and more like a self help book, I have just noticed.

If there is one thing I hope I can tell you, it's that the people around you will surely care enough for you to acknowledge when you have difficulties. The biggest mistake I ever made was continued persisting and ignoring problems, letting my emotions build, and I have huge regrets from not taking action against things that bothered me.

After my final performance showcase with my Performing Arts group, it was an emotional time as we had been all together for two years. We had all grown so close, and as a final gesture, we were all asked to gather for a photo so I tried to slot myself in, but was pushed aside as if I was insignificant and in a rage, I walked off and I don't think anyone noticed. So if I see that photo on all my friend's social media, I regret that I never spoke up.

I really managed to begin feeling that way once I spoke to a dear friend, who was a part of our Performing Arts group for the first year.

For a few months, I was working with someone who was helping me out with my emotional issues. I'd say she was a psychologist but apparently it was some less fancy word that I can't remember, nevertheless after that time I noticed how I was very heavily dependent on myself to keep my issues from others, out of fear of making it seem like I was adding to their list of concerns.

This stemming from when I was in secondary school, I'd get personally involved with someone I considered a friend with their issues. It led to me becoming way too unhappy, worrying about their issues when really in most cases, I shouldn't have got myself too invested in their issues.

So this stemmed through to now, where I never like putting forward my emotions in any sense. But now, I need that more than ever, change is happening for me and I have the cushion of very helpful and loving people around me. So if you're ever going through change, have someone by your side, and if you don't, reach out to someone you know - not think - will support you.

Because if the incredible movie 'X+Y' ('A Brilliant Young Mind' in America) taught me anything, it is that if someone loves you, they see something in you, that they think is worth something. That - in my words - 'tolerating' you is not actually tolerating, if only you're willing to try then they will hold your hand.

If this has helped at least one person, I'll be happy.

So until we meet again,
Luca.