A traumatic day

Hello everyone, so it's a different tone today. I am using this to tell you about a very traumatising day in my life, which happened when I was in secondary school, infact most of the terrible times came from that point in my life as probably with many people's lives.

I go to an open mind therapy group every now and then, I particularly needed it recently and one of the things I talk about to my therapists is times in my adolescence that really sealed the deal in who I became, and not in a positive manner. So here I am with my heart on my sleeve, ready to tell you all about a day in my life that was just awful for me, thinking I can be open with you lot and hopefully it can help you come to terms with things in your life and maybe help you open up to the people who love you.

This event I am referring to occurred in I believe it was Year 7 or Year 8, so I was about 13 or 14 and when you are at that age, you socialise with the popular kids because you always think that's the best idea. Not relevant to the story but this group of girls I hung around with, only saw me as a butt to a joke, I wasn't to know this at the time but eventually worked it out. No matter, but the group of girls were the ones I was with at that moment before it all went to shit.

So picture this, I was leaning against a wall whilst these girls were doing what I can recall was gymnastic practice or possibly even cheerleading related, and I seem to remember I was pondering and deep in thought, can't recall for the life of me what I was thinking about. That's irrelevant though, what is very much not irrelevant was that I was off guard and not ready for an ambush, this group of girls (not the same group that I was originally with) walk up to me, led by a large girl wearing a tracksuit - who looked like she would un-ironically use 'cause' as an answer to a question beginning with why - with quite the number of minions following her.

What ends up happening is she says quite loudly to me, "What are ya doing standing there? You're freaking me out?" and I am a bit overwhelmed at this point because I am surrounded. I'm amazed that this bitch had the audacity to question me just standing there, not bothering anyone and saying she was freaked out by it.. so I stumbled with my words, trying my utmost to be intelligible but failing miserably whilst still processing what she said to me.

So after my blubbering nonsensical noises, I finally am able to say something honestly quite weak, "Is it any of your business?" because that's a great comeback isn't it? By that point, this tracksuit wearing sizeable person had taken a large swig of the drink she had, and proceeded to point to her face whilst the liquid was still in her mouth and make a noise, as if to insinuate that I was being disrespectful because I had not spoken to her whilst she had the power to speak back. A calculated move on her part, though if I had spoken whilst she still could, she probably would have spoken over me deliberately.

On top of her doing this, one of her minion girl friends begins mocking me for the way I talk, doing the high pitch "meh meh meh", you get the idea. At this point, I walk away because it's so fucking blatantly obvious to your parents or teachers that the whole "just ignore them and be the bigger person" shit works, it works so brilliantly! You sense the sarcasm in there? If you didn't, and if you haven't figured it out yet, I am being sarcastic in that sentence.

The second I turn to walk away, they begin to pour salt in the wound. Mocking me as I tried to get out of this situation, saying the typical mockery bullshit like "Awhh, you going to tell the teacher? Going to go cry?", oh and it didn't help that I had developed a reputation throughout the school for being a teacher's pet, one thing I never wanted to be but oh well. Anyway, I am about to walk out of there and without a moment to exhale, this guy I know pops around the corner.

For context, I have no idea why but this guy would very infrequently pass me on school grounds and call me a psycho, and I couldn't fight this. In this instance after just being intimidated by this group of girls, the last thing I needed was another reason to get worked up, and I was already trying to escape, and I was about to implode. My world was caving in, I was feeling so alone and powerless in these moments, I had nobody to run to, which is why what followed was what made the situation what it is.

I was trying to remove myself from all possible social interaction, doing my utmost to hold back tears when I heard someone ask me if I was okay. This being one of the girls that I was with earlier, and I couldn't tell if she was being funny with me or not but I did react badly, since I was so on edge and ready to explode, I snapped at her saying "What do you want?". That's when the straw that broke the camels back happened, and I see this girl walk up to me who I had never seen before but was with the girl who asked me if I was okay, and she says the following.

"Who do you think you're talking to with that ugly gap between your teeth?".

Yes. This was said. I have never been self conscious about my tooth gap, not now and not back then, but this moment in my life, I have been told to run and ignore whatever is hurled my way, being told that I should just not give a shit what everyone has to say. You'll be out of school in a few years, leading a very successful life whilst they are at home claiming benefits and taking drugs, come on kid it's wrong to care about what other people think of you!

In this moment of uncontrollable anger, in this moment of fear, of rage, of that feeling of powerlessness, I did something which would seal my fate as being one angry, closed off emotionally, fearful, wreck of a person. I gave this girl who said I had an ugly gap between my front teeth, one mighty swing of my foot into her leg, which apparently left one major bruise. All I can recall from this moment was I shouted something whilst trying to fight off major tears, whilst she turned to look back at who she was with and put her hand over her mouth.

A lot of what happened afterwards is a very fuzzy time, all I can muster up in memory may not have even happened but all I felt was whilst I was walking back, everyone was looking at me. I may as well have been Cersei Lannister and had someone behind me chanting 'shame', I felt the prying eyes of judgement almost firing lasers at my neck, hanging my head because I couldn't bare to look anyone in the eye.

What I do remember clear as day, I had P.E. after lunch break which was when this happened, and my class are all sat in a line and my support assistant who I am not going to name, comes up to me and gives me that same glare that I felt was happening when walking back into the school. Now just so you all know, I am well aware both now and at the time that kicking that girl was not right, but it was never a case of I just wanted to kick her. It was a butterfly effect of shit piled on top of more shit, that led to me crumbling, so it wasn't just a case of "I want to hurt someone for no reason".

The thing that really put the sourest sting to it was when my support assistant confronted me, her exact words when I told her about what this girl had said were "Well there's evidence to what you did whereas there is none of what you claim", or something along those lines. All she ever had to do was know me, that I don't just do what I did do because of an inherent desire to hurt people.

What I needed was someone to understand me, I may have been a stubborn little shit but I would have looked back on that, accepting responsibility for kicking this girl. But instead I was greeted with major backlash from the person I should have been depending on, I felt like the enemy, and that was the day I started bottling it all up.

Every day since then and to this day, it hurts. It hurts knowing I tried to get away from it all, I kept getting poked with a stick and when I reacted, I was shamed for it. I admit wrongdoing looking back but I don't blame myself, I wish it didn't happen but that's different from regret, and I don't regret it because I tried to get my voice out. I tried to shout with what I had and was so quickly losing everything I had in that moment, I was being shamed for running, I was being shamed for crying, I was being shamed for reacting, could I ever win?

I'm 21 now, and this day lives on as one of the worst days of my life. The day I broke, the day it all went to shit and I would forever remain as one angry, anxious and resenting piece of shit. I clench my fists when cars go past me or I walk past a stranger on the street because I fear for what they will end up doing, which isn't an unfounded fear as I am constantly being harassed by twats who feel it's a good idea to startle me then race off.

I play out scenarios in my head, hypothetical or past confrontations and I tense up, running these events in my mind. This has had a profound effect on me, and no amount of how well off I have it in my life will ever change what I have become, a loathing mess.

I'm writing this mostly because I want to open up, and I want to encourage everyone else to open up if something has been bothering them. I want to show this to my closest friends directly, and anyone else who sees this, the people you have in your life will accept anything that is making you hold your breath.

Hopefully I have helped someone by opening up here, because I do want to move past this and I know fine well that I have it really good in my life and so many people have it worse. But whatever you are all going through, I can't express enough that you are well within your right to react and you shouldn't be ashamed if your world is caving in and you can't hold yourself. Don't ever feel ashamed for doing some regrettable shit, you can wish things didn't happen but nobody is in their right to hold it against you.

I have lived my life closed away, I still find it difficult to be completely comfortable around so many people because of this day and so many other days. But I will continue to move forward, I am blessed to have the most supportive and loving people in my life who will help me as I will help them in return.

Don't bottle it all up, never let anyone in your life tell you that you're wrong, that you are evil for stumbling, for losing your way, it doesn't mean you are lost forever. Sometimes, all we need is a little help.

Thank you so much for reading, take care everyone.

Luca.

Luca's racing blab #1 - Formula E

Image courtesy of www.theverge.com

Hello you, my name is Luca but you can call me Luca. So I posted on my Instagram talking about the racing at the weekend, talking about the Chinese Grand Prix and Daniel Ricciardo's amazing overtaking skills which were never in question, Superbike Sunday as is known on Eurosport with the double billing of World Superbikes and British Superbikes, and the Long Beach IndyCar race in which Alexander Rossi dominated.

As you will all know, I love racing so I thought every so often I'd come here to talk about something that has me wanting to talk. In today's instalment of Luca's racing blab, I am going to talk about the Formula E championship as last weekend was the Rome ePrix. This electric racing series has been going from strength to strength and approaching its fifth year of competition, there is some big changes coming in the form of a new car and big overhaul in regulations.

Since the inception of the series, drivers would have to come into the pits and jump out of one car into another since their batteries have ran out of charge after about half way through the race. With the introduction of the new car (as you can see in the picture above), these will be a thing of the past but this of course means the old more traditional looking Formula E chassis will be retired. I have an idea that I'd like to see be used, but I'll get to that later.

Formula E's schedule is very much untraditional, it begins in the latter half of one year and the beginning half of the next, season one was 2014-15, season two was 2015-16 you get the idea. However for this season, it began in December 2017 and then the rest of the events were in 2018, and this for me is something that doesn't sit well. For the most part, all the Formula E seasons had more rounds in the following year than the proceeding but it surely needs more than just the one.

I don't want to say this was my idea because it wasn't, a Twitter user by the name of @alexstanger1993 had been working tirelessly to create an ideal Formula E calendar and has done a perfect job. So here's what Alex came up with if Formula E adopted this schedule for season five, I have put a slight spin on it but I'll get to that.

Round One - Singapore ePrix, Singapore - 29/09/2018
All the seasons of Formula E so far have started either in mainland China or a Chinese territory, Hong Kong is a Chinese territory, right? Is Singapore? Well if Hong Kong and Singapore are then this will continue that trend, with it being a week after the F1 Grand Prix as well.

I'd love to see it be a night race, as FE have never had a night race before. Singapore is one of my favourite street circuits, and I do hope that it's a mainstay on the motorsport calendar as it is one incredible event.

Round Two - Adelaide ePrix, Australia - 03/11/2018
This one is a stroke of genius actually, allow me to explain. I believe Alex wasn't picky about location whether it was Adelaide or Albert Park, but I'm picking Adelaide because not only do I think it's a better choice for Formula E, I have another event in mind for Adelaide. A lot of Formula E drivers also race in the World Endurance Championship and by 2019, the WEC will be utilising a schedule similar to that of Formula E.

I have been trying to get a hold of anybody at the WEC to put forward a suggestion for when they do have their schedule nailed down, to have a 10 hour race in Adelaide taking place on New Year's Eve, starting at 8pm and ending at 6am on New Year's Day. The Formula E going there would be a great build up event for the locals, and also for the drivers who will be heading back there for the 10 hour race as well. This obviously would apply for 2019 so providing Formula E is successful in Adelaide going into season six, then all of what I said would apply if WEC head to Adelaide.

Round Three - Macau ePrix, Macau - 01/12/2018
I absolutely love the Macau circuit which hosts the only event where both cars and bikes race, with the F3, Road Racing Motorbikes, GT and Touring Cars heading there near the end of November. This race would follow two weeks after, and I think with the new cars no longer needing as much regeneration, it would be the perfect time to add Macau.

I have nothing more to add here, I think this is a great venue that Formula E should have an event at. I do think maybe swap around Adelaide and Macau perhaps, I'm not too sure but maybe have the ePrix two weeks before the Macau Grand Prix and put the Adelaide event in December to lead up to the 10 hour event I've been thinking of, maybe two weeks before Christmas? What do you lot think would be better?

Round Four - Marrakech ePrix, Morocco - 12/01/2019
Now we jump continents to the sole African event, and I've been happy to see the inclusion of Morocco since they made modifications to the Touring Car circuit to make it a technical and interesting circuit. Formula E having been to Morocco in the last two seasons and having put on a show for the fans who attend from all around the continent.

Again, I have nothing much to add here. I think it's important to have a presence in Africa, and it's neatly placed considering the championship jumps from Asia and Oceania, to Africa, America, Europe etc.

Round Five - São Paulo ePrix, Brazil - 02/02/2019
This event has been trying to get itself off of the ground since the beginning but it has always fallen through, and it's sad as I feel São Paulo should have an ePrix. Two of the three Formula E champions have been Brazilian, and there's already a street circuit in this Brazilian city that has not been used since IndyCar last used it in 2013.

I do hope they are able to make it happen, though the Formula One event has been hampered by the robberies and people being held at gunpoint for the last few years, I don't know if the IndyCar event was also hampered by that but whether or not, I'd hope the local government can sort this out as the Brazilian fans are some of the most passionate in the world and deserve an ePrix.

Round Six - Santiago ePrix, Chile - 16/02/2019
The Chile event this season was amazing so it pains me to say it, I am not sure if it will remain on the calendar, I'd be very surprised. The race was extremely well attended but I'm hearing after one year, they're already apparently having to move location and this doesn't bode very well.

It pains me to have to admit it, I can't see Chile being a mainstay on the FE schedule or indeed on the schedule past this year, but I would be happy to be proven wrong. The Santiago ePrix was an amazing event, I just hope it isn't a logistical nightmare. The inclusion of Brazil may mean that Chile is no longer a necessary event.

Round Seven - Mexico City ePrix, Mexico - 09/03/2019
The only round with a dedicated circuit, using a shortened layout of the Autódromo Hermanos Rodríguez circuit. It has always been one of the most exciting races on the Formula E schedule, and the fans always come out in force so I see no need to have it removed.

Round Eight - Long Beach ePrix, USA - 30/03/2019
The heads of Formula E have been looking to have a race on the east coast of the US and the west coast as well, and the presence of this championship in the US has been extremely strong. The US has had the most venues of any country that has held Formula E, one of which is the Long Beach venue.

In the first two seasons, Formula E visited the California based street circuit two weeks before the IndyCar race would take place and as far as west coast venues go, you can pick a whole lot worse in terms of layout, racing and pedigree. The layout they use is a shortened version of the typical circuit but with the newer cars that can do a full race distance, the organisers are infact using the full length Monaco Grand Prix circuit for season five so maybe the full Long Beach circuit can be used.

Round Nine - Rome ePrix, Italy - 27/04/2019
The Rome ePrix was a huge success last weekend, the fans sold out the tickets within hours, the circuit is up there as being one of the best in the championship, and the racing was so good as it always is. Not only is this race in my opinion a must be mainstay, I feel like that this event should become a two race weekend like they have every so often in Formula E.

Round Ten - Monaco ePrix, Monaco - 11/05/2019
Two weeks before the Monaco F1 Grand Prix is the Monaco ePrix, or the Monaco Historic Grand Prix. This is such a major frustration of mine, why can't we have the Monaco ePrix every year? Basically, every other year Formula E goes to Monaco and the years inbetween is the Monaco Historic Grand Prix, please stop faffing around and let us have it all? Could it be possible to have the ePrix on the 11th, the Historics the following week which proceeds the F1? I do hope this is possible.

Round Eleven - Paris ePrix, France - 25/05/2019
Paris is another city in which we need Formula E to remain, another amazing location which holds major importance for the manufacturers and for the city as a whole in regards to electric racing. I don't know much more to say honestly, but bare in mind that along with Rome and two other locations, I'd like to expand more on the importance of these events.

Round Twelve - Berlin ePrix, Germany - 08/06/2019
I do love the location that the Berlin ePrix uses, the Berlin Tempelhof Airport which hosted the event in season one, then in season three with a completely different layout which will run into season four as well. Season two's event was relocated to the city centre after refugees were being held at the airport, and the circuit they used was okay but certainly not good enough in my opinion.

Whilst I did like season one's Berlin Tempelhof circuit layout especially the bit where they drive under the terminal roof, season three's Tempelhof layout was so much better overall with so many fast corners providing a new challenge for the drivers. I see no reason to get rid of this amazing circuit and venue, I hope we get to see more airport circuits possibly added in the future too.

Round Thirteen - Zurich ePrix, Switzerland - 22/06/2019
This one is very much hypothetical since we haven't yet visited Switzerland for the inaugural Zurich ePrix, but it's already majorly significant since Switzerland have had motorsport banned for the most part and allowed for a relaxing of this rule when Formula E came knocking. So it's obvious as to the role Formula E has played in the Swiss getting a major motorsport event.

I am very much going to tune in to this year's Zurich ePrix to see how the reaction is, and I'm actually kind of hoping season two champion Sébastien Buemi can win on home soil. If it's any good then it'll be worth keeping, but I must say that I am very much willing to boot Switzerland away in favour of another event, but I'll save that until later.

Round Fourteen - New York ePrix, USA - 20/07/2019
Last season, Formula E made the trip to North America for double headers in both New York and Montreal. I wish more than anything that Montreal could have remained on the calendar because in my opinion, it had one of the best layouts out of any Formula E circuit, however it was removed after locals complained about a shit tonne of things which I can honestly understand.

We are focusing on New York though and I think the event last season was great and is an ideal place for the season finale, racing in New York is incredibly significant and whilst I was hoping they could have utilised the Port Imperial circuit in New Jersey that F1 has been trying to make happen since 2013, but it would never have worked for Formula E since they need a lot of heavy braking zones. I do hope that Port Imperial circuit is one day utilised for F1 because it is one incredible circuit.

The circuit that the New York ePrix uses is an erected layout around the Brooklyn Cruise Terminal, which was quite the location for the circuit but it seemed to logistically work very well. On that note though, I'd like to put up a picture of a few New York ePrix circuit layouts.

Both images are directly from FIA Formula E.

On the top is the layout that will be used for this season's New York ePrix, which is essentially the exact same as last season's but with that section added at the at the end of that long straight whereas beforehand it was just a simple right handed hairpin. However below that you'll see a layout that was originally showcased as being the layout that had been settled on, which I have taken the original photo and flipped it so you can see the comparison to the actual layout.

I don't know why the original layout that was decided upon was abandoned, I mean there are some things I prefer on the actual layout. I for one would keep the actual layout's bottom section from the sweeping right hander to the exit of the chicane and hairpin, but then the original layout's more technical section that you see in the top of the picture, that for me would make it by far the best overall possible layout.

Anyway the race in New York is incredibly significant, and I've said this also for Paris and Rome but you may remember that I spoke on the topic of the Zurich ePrix that I'd be wanting to see a different event if Zurich did fail, and that's what I want to talk about now.

Bonus round - London ePrix, Britain
I visited the London ePrix in 2015 for the first season finale and the witnessing of Formula E's first champion being crowned, and it was situated in Battersea Park. I was really happy to be there, but the thing that killed it for me was the inability to watch the racing unless you were allowed to go up onto the platforms, which sucked.

Overall the experience was very much a positive one, I am very much glad I could see the London ePrix but I can't honestly sit here and say that having it at Battersea Park again would be a good idea, though I really want the London ePrix back so I have a much better location that I do hope would be logistically possible. In 2012, there was a London Grand Prix proposal made by Sky Sports, Santander and McLaren along with their current driver line-up made up of Britain's two most recent F1 world champions Lewis Hamilton and Jenson Button.

I'll link the video here for you all to watch the circuit presentation by Button and Hamilton.

The circuit itself is absolutely incredible and I would hope that one day, the circuit could possibly also host F1 but that itself seems to ambitious. Maybe it's too ambitious to think about this London circuit as a host for an ePrix let alone a Grand Prix, but either way it's very important that Formula E returns to London.

I had been hearing that the organisers were planning on heading to Birmingham in the UK either as a replacement round after Montreal's cancellation this year or for the upcoming season and as excited as I was at first at the prospect of racing in Birmingham, I quickly realised that London holds as much significance for Formula E as Paris, Rome and New York which is why we need all of them on the schedule.

Alex Stanger's ideal Formula E schedule is near absolute perfection. What I'd probably end up changing is, possibly removing the Santiago round, trying to shuffle everything up and trying to possible move the end of the season back so there's a gap of about three months until the next season which would begin again in late September early October. Oh and of course, I'd add London and possibly put that in place of Zurich if the Swiss event isn't successful.

Now, there was another idea that I wanted to discuss. You will have seen earlier in the article that I spoke about the current Formula E chassis being retired from usage in the FIA championship, and I also mentioned that the US has had more ePrix than all other countries that have held an ePrix. This including Miami in season one, Long Beach in seasons one and two, New York in seasons three and four and also including a non-championship virtual eRace held in Las Vegas between Formula E regulars and simulator racers.

It seems that along with these events that did happen, there is so much demand for Formula E in so many US cities, some of which include but are not limited to Austin and Detroit. I bring this up because it's quite obvious that there is a demand to see Formula E in so many cities in America, and obviously the heads of the FIA Formula E championship won't be able to satisfy all of them, since America is so vast that having more than one round in the States would still be quite excessive when so many other countries want to be on the schedule too.

I think Formula E's plan to have both an east and west coast event is very much ideal, so as far as I'm concerned that's a great idea and having Long Beach ePrix be the west coast event and New York ePrix be the east coast event, that provides a great balance. However, so many other cities have their sights set on a Formula E event and unfortunately, this isn't something that the FIA championship could ever dream of satisfying, so here's my idea.

With the chassis that FIA Formula E has used since its first season being retired after the end of this season, how about taking these soon to be disused Spark SRT01E cars and using them in a United States based championship, racing in as many of the cities that are wanting to have an ePrix. These would include Miami which would run on the weekend that the FIA championship ran in Miami on in 2015, Long Beach and New York possibly as a supporting event to the main championship, the absolutely brilliant circuit utilised in the Las Vegas eRace but brought into reality if it's possible. Then of course, literally any other US city wanting an ePrix.

The format for the US Formula E would remain very much the same in terms of how the race weekend would be set up, though unlike the FIA championship with the majority of rounds having one race and a few select others having two races across two days. For the US championship, there would always be two races per weekend, with one practice session, qualifying following with a similar format to what FIA Formula E uses with a shootout for superpole between five top drivers, then a race, this applying to both days.

I do reckon though that the US Formula E races should probably be half the length of traditional FIA Formula E races which are roughly around the 50-60 miles or 80-100 kilometres mark, this being because up until now the current Formula E cars have not been able to make a full race distance on a single charge and so therefore the drivers come into the pits mid-race and swap into another car. Shortening the races would mean no need to jump into another car mid way and basically just meaning less freight to have to haul to each round and the costs going down, whilst still putting on a show.

Been trying to get in touch with the right people to see if putting this idea into their minds would work, and so far I have had nothing but people ignoring me or not seeing the complete genius in this idea, if I do say so myself! But seriously, I thought by putting it out to you guys it would get some people thinking and hopefully there will be a racing organisation in America willing to work with the heads of Formula E to make this happen because I wouldn't be suggesting it if I didn't see the benefits for everyone involved.

Along with my US based Formula E championship and the ideal FIA Formula E schedule by Alex Stanger with my spin on it, I want to know all your thoughts on everything here today. If anybody has anything to say, feel free to let me know either in the comments or on Twitter @TheLucaFormat.

Alright! Well speaking of Twitter, go ahead and follow me on there if you haven't already and give Alex Stranger a follow @alexstanger1993. If you want my articles sent straight to your inbox then look for the Follow By Email option on the right hand side of your screen. That'll be it from me, hope you enjoyed reading and that you will be back soon for more of my mindless drivel.

So until we meet again,
Luca.

The power of joking

Image courtesy of www.youtube.com

Hello you, my name is Luca but you can call me Luca. I'm writing this on March 28th 2018, so when I say 'earlier this month' I mean March since I'm guessing I'll have this done and ready to publish in April. Anyway, earlier this month, a Scottish man known online as Count Dankula - real name Mark Meechan - was found guilty of a hate crime and with being "grossly offensive", because of what? He made his girlfriend's pug do a Nazi salute in order to prank his girlfriend, by turning her adorable pug into "The worst thing he could think of". This should scare you.

Dankula doesn't deserve this to happen to him. I personally think there is some humour that is certainly worth criticising, and I think you can be criticised for all types of humour and everyone is free to say whether something is too much, however this is way too far. Dankula simply wanted to make his girlfriend's dog as heinous to contrast his girlfriend's perception of her dog, and there are people that are saying he deserves to be locked away for it. I however, don't think he should and I'll explain why.

Now I personally think that people who have committed hate speech in the past are indeed horrible people, those who un-ironically believe that all Jewish people should be gassed or wiped out, they should be the ones in prison. Dankula doesn't hold these hateful views at all, and he is being punished for a joke, and to me not only is this worrying because people shouldn't be punished for a joke no matter how egregious it is and this may set a precedent, I do think those who are calling for his sentence are holding a very backward view. I don't claim to know everything, but I think this could be quite eye opening for a lot of you.

As you can see in my header photo, I have a picture of PewDiePie who also went through his own Nazi joke controversy back in the day, and whilst I know a few people who don't like him, I still stand by him. It all began spiralling out of control from him when he made a video using the Fiverr website, which if you don't know is a site where you pay I believe it's £5, or $5, basically five of some currency and the person you commission will do anything that they say they'll do for the money.

This can range between getting someone to do your Maths homework, playing a video game with someone, and finally making a comedic video with personal input. My personal favourite things to result from Fiverr include Big Man Tyrone's videos such as 'I sexually identify as an Attack Tyronecopter.' and 'Jamal Says "Every 60 Seconds In Africa, A Minute Passes".' which are both incredibly funny to me. Long story short, you can find a service on there for a small sum, and PewDiePie made a now deleted funny video using the Fiverr site.

For the most part, he has his requests rejected since he asks for are very inappropriate and immature, but what really got a lot of gears grinding was when he asked two Indian guys called the Fiverr Funny Guys to make a video for him. He wanted to see how far he could make certain people go, so with the Funny Guys saying they'll hold up a sign saying whatever the person paying wanted coupled with some laughing and slapstick humour before saying out loud whatever they were asked. PewDiePie decided to try and make the sign say the most horrible thing he could think of, which was "Death to all Jews" along with the guys then saying to subscribe to a YouTuber who has been known in the past to be actually racist and hateful, I won't say that YouTuber's name because he is a sack of shit.

PewDiePie was expecting his request to be rejected since he was pushing these boundaries, but much to his surprise the Funny Guys actually fulfilled his request and if you can find a reupload of it on YouTube, PewDiePie's reaction is amazing! But this did not go down well, media outlets such as Wall Street Journal deliberately took a lot of PewDiePie clips out of context to make him look like an actual Nazi. Such as a video of him watching Hitler in an SS outfit, which was to make fun of the recent YouTube Heroes programme which told people to take down videos without any sort of regulation, and another such example is when PewDiePie is pointing at a screen, it was claimed to have been a Nazi salute.

I still stand by PewDiePie, even if I did not like the guy (Which I do), all the information points in his favour and it was all really just a smear campaign on the most well known guy on YouTube, so that advertisers would jump ship from YouTube to typical media sites, which mainly did happen. I know if I was a bigger scale blogger, I'd be branded as a Nazi sympathiser and have a lot of my words taken out of context and I could not defend myself because the media holds way too much influence. That's a story for another day!

Around the time of the Charlottesville protests (Remember? The one in which Donald Trump said there were good people among actual bigots? But will call anyone who takes a knee or call for gun control 'unpatriotic' and 'sons of bitches'?), PewDiePie made a video saying he wouldn't be making any more Nazi jokes because he was horrified at the realisation of how alive Nazism still is to this day. It is unfortunately very much real and alive, and people who sincerely believe in it will continue to live hateful lives, but I do think that one of the reasons we have allowed Nazism to remain strong is that every time it is joked about, we are told we shouldn't do it as it's offensive to the victims of the Holocaust.

You can have your opinions about comments in relation to Nazis saying "Gas the Jews" or "Death to all Jews", I would personally always take context into consideration like with PewDiePie and Dankula's situations, though you can't always rely on it. However I never perceived those jokes as mocking Jewish people and the undeniable tragedy that continues to plague Europe and the world, but more mocking the Nazis.

Here's the thing with Nazi's and indeed anybody, I personally feel if you joke about something long enough then nobody takes it seriously. I of course take the holocaust extremely seriously, I hope nothing like it ever happens again but with the prominence of Nazis still to this day, the last thing I want to do is satisfy their thirst for fear, and we do that if we give them the power that we desperately don't want them to have then they have won.

Nobody wants to mock victims, at least nobody with common sense wants to do so. But like with that kid at school who threatened to burn the place down, we would laugh it off and really undermine the will of that kid, but if we had started to clearly fear this kid, we would be giving them that power and influence. That's how I see it with not only Nazis, but other groups who rely on fear mongering and dividing us as species, if we reduce their bigoted views to nothing more than something to laugh at, they are not being taken seriously.

Imagine how undermining that would be to someone who is convinced in their head that they are superior to someone because they are white, 'pure blood' all that bollocks, to be told how they feel and see is laughable is the most demoralising thing. Because they're either unrelenting in their conviction, or brainwashed to the point of no return.

Ever seen how not seriously we take Flat Earthers? "THE EARTH IS FLAT! THERE IS SO MUCH EVIDENCE!", lol kay. The same with those people who believe that 9/11 was an inside job, and as scary governments can be, that sort of sentence is thrown around by memers all the time. They reduce these mentalities to nothing more than something that can be laughed at, not taking seriously, but we for some reason actually rewards Nazis with the fear they want us to have. That's why I choose to laugh at them.

In the end, it's all a choice really. I've learned over the years that you can be freely critical and offended by people's humour, my personal feelings regarding where humour crosses a line is when it's at someone else's expense. Unless that someone else is a disgusting pile of shit, and that's what Nazis are. But you may very well have a different line than me and I'll respect that, but don't tell me I'm a bad person because I find Nazis mentalities laughable, because they are disgusting humans and don't deserve any more acknowledgment or validation.

This past year has been a defining one for humanity, America had a bigot elected as President and it really has shown how alive Nazism is in the world, and we are giving them validation! We are punishing people for mocking this mentality, throwing them in the same basket as actual Nazis and it's just sad. Hey I'll probably end up being called a Nazi because of this, but I know fine well where I stand. I just hope you lot see where I am coming from.

That's where I'll end this. I hope this has at least been somewhat eye opening to all of you. For the record if it wasn't somehow clear enough already, Nazis are disgusting, fuck Nazis and fuck Nazi sympathisers. Thank you for reading.

Luca, out.