Something I like about myself

Hello you. The name is Luca, but you can call me Luca. So, if any of you are unfortunate enough to follow me on Instagram (Due to my over excessive shit-postings), you may have clicked on my story a few days ago and seen something I wrote. The particular example that I am referring to is finding something you like about yourself and writing about it.

Not to sound all guru like, or spiritual or pretentious by being like "Spread peace, love and positivity and the world will be such a better place" or any of that bullshit. Allow me to provide you with the reason why I wrote that, and not to sound like I am asking for pity or anything because that's the last thing I want from this. I may or may not have touched upon this before, I go to something called talking therapy and speak to someone about things that have gone before in my life, the results of those things and how I can best overcome some fears.

One of the things me and the person I speak to there talk about a lot is how I never think of anything that I do as a great thing, and by that I mean, I don't apparently give myself enough credit. This has been a thing I just thought was the norm, that nobody ever thinks of anything good that they do as a great and commendable thing themselves. Though if I feel I've done wrong, I know that fine well and I think everyone should, nonetheless it has resulted in myself being somewhat apparently a tad negative regarding the things I do.

With all of that being said though, I still firmly believe I don't deserve commending for doing good things. Though having been thinking for a bit, I do think despite all the deprecation I throw my own way, what if instead of being me, I was just some unfortunate soul who had to tolerate my existence? The perspective of someone who knows me, who themselves believes their own idea of average is themselves and anything they do, because I can safely say that I see a lot of good in people. One of those people is my friend Emma, who is responsible for me coming up with this idea.

Emma she has her own blog which I will link here (https://emdoesbookreviews.wordpress.com/) where she reviews mainly books - as you can tell by that title - and I highly recommend it for any of you bookworms. I will say here and now though, Emma has gone to university and won't be posting on it extensively but there is already stuff there to enjoy. Like I've just said to Emma, it's like getting into a TV series that has been running for many years, there's already a lot of stuff to enjoy before there's any more to come.

Anyway, I feel like I've gone off topic there. Basically, Emma has always been a huge help in regards to many things, and why she is relevant here is because of her support in regards to my attempts when trying to contact Warner Bros and whoever else to make a movie adaptation of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time (If you want to know more, click here - https://redsone-shot.blogspot.co.uk/2016/07/what-is-voice-with-no-power-part-2.html).

I've never been someone who just thinks of something that should happen and never act on it. As far back as I can remember, I write off to whoever I can if I can see the benefits of something happening, it's why I began this blog because as naïve and pathetic as it may seem, just having it out there is enough for me and hopefully, it can become reality.

Notice there how I used sort of negative words to describe what I do? That's something I've always done but now, I am not just thinking of someone who may look at me and laugh, I am trying to place myself in the mind of another type of person. It was after the comment that Emma left on my article that really stuck a chord with me, that you can go read if you scroll to the bottom of it or I can just copy and paste it here.

'Luca...
It's been a while since we talked, but reading this, reading how you talk about chasing your dreams and not giving up, I've been reminded just how fantastic you are. You know I love your insight for this project (which you have stuck by the entire time) and you know how much this story means to me as well as you, and I am so proud of your determination with it. Chase your dreams, my friend <3

Your friend Emma' - emdoesbookreviews

This was the first time I could ever see a perspective that was a positive one. I've obviously got some amazing friends who mean the world to me that have told me things like that before, I could never see it from their point of view. I never consider myself an interesting person, I have made that clear before but because of this, I unconsciously put myself down. But thanks to Emma, I think I can write this and encourage you to do the same. This is, something I like about myself.

That something is, whatever I am passionate about, I don't just let it go easily and I want to try and put it in the minds of the correct people. But I don't do it out of huge personal gain, by that I mean I don't want to get a huge amount of credit or money, I just want the thing I am pushing for to exist whether I benefit in that manner or not.

A recent example, I had this idea for a new type of racing game called Giro d'Strada. I had decided to try and contact the developers of Assetto Corsa, so I accidentally assumed it was 505 Games who distribute the game rather than make it and they pointed me in the direction of the forums that the actual developers of the game - Kunos Simulazioni - are always checking on. If any of you are interested, here is my forums post here (http://www.assettocorsa.net/forum/index.php?threads/free-roam-based-racing-game-giro-dstrada.40219/#post-802549). I do plan on going into a hell of a lot more detail with my Giro d'Strada idea so stay tuned for that.

As much as it is about me wanting to see a game like this, I am not so unreasonable that I would only ever push for something if only I would like it or it would be convenient for me. If I was like that, I would ask my parents for a LaFerrari Aperta and say they didn't love me if they would not, but thankfully I am not.

My point is, I could take this idea and run with it, try and get a lot of money by making the game myself but I just want this game to exist so I can play it and enjoy it, and for other people to do so as well because I believe there is a gap in the market for a game like this. I would not trust myself to not screw it up also, but whether someone wants to make money off of a concept I've come up with, I don't mind. I'd expect to have some say in the game though at the very least!

If whatever I push for on here or in any other part of life, I never want to gain any notoriety from it. I write about something because I believe in it being a success. Whether it be this game that I have just spoken about, my last article talking about a British based premier single seater championship that will provide an alternative to F1 for some drivers, the Curious Incident movie with Taron Egerton as the main character, a four door convertible Rolls Royce based on the Enus Windsor Drop from GTA Online, or on the flip side a bunch of real life cars that I believe would make great and popular vehicles in GTA, or any possible concept I will conjure up in the future.

It doesn't matter for me that I'd become rich if I claimed these ideas for myself and ran with them. As much of an annoyance it can be that there are absolute dickheads who earn a shit tonne of money for the shady stuff that they do, I am at complete ease with the way I am in regards to all of this.

I do have plans to obviously make my living, I have opportunities that are coming up soon that excite me and I also plan on writing fictional novels (Which I have touched upon before) that may do me well for the future, who knows? If you remember my article on The Accountant, I talk about how I'd love to see novels based on the lore surrounding Ben Affleck's character from the film, and I would do it myself but I do want to see the character and lore done well by a much more celebrated or even acknowledged author. So I'd appreciate being the consumer if someone who was a very good writer decided to write novels about Christian Wolff, since I couldn't trust myself to do it right.

The other thing I like about myself, I'm grateful. I know the term "You can't be sad because people have it worse" is perhaps a very guilt inducing statement but I do carry this with me quite strongly. My birthday was November 27th and I turned 20, and on the day I got a new red hoodie (My third one..), Zootropolis on DVD, some money for my PSN wallet but most of all, my new Logitech G29 steering wheel.

My Instagram followers will know about this. I have it directly in front of me as I write this, and if any of you have seen an article I wrote about gaming racing, I talk about how I miss the times I used to drive on my PS3. Now I can drive on my PS4 and the feeling of turning this force feedback wheel and applying the power on Assetto Corsa whilst driving a LaFerrari around the Nürburgring Nordschleife was amazing.

I am getting a few movies on DVD for Christmas but they aren't that expensive, I just wanted a steering wheel for my games console again and I've got it, I'm set for a while now. Whilst I have acknowledged the quiet life I lead, I am grateful for so much and I am looking forward to what will happen next. Even if whatever is next for me is overwhelming and too much, I have some absolutely wonderful people around me who I am forever grateful for.

I'm seeing Rogue One this weekend with my friends Lauren and Matthew, I cannot wait to see the new Star Wars movie. Tomorrow is first and foremost my dad's birthday but also apparently, a new GTA update is going live called Import/Export which I cannot contain my excitement for. I am playing 'Small Hands' by Keaton Henson as I finish this article and most of all, I am happy with who I am and grateful for what I have. Thank you all.

Before I end, why don't any of you write something similar to this? I know friends who are going through hard times and whilst I don't want to again, come across as a pretentious douchebag, all of you have something that makes you worth it, and no it isn't L'Oreal.

Until we meet again,
Luca.