Sunday 28 August 2016

Unattainable dreams?

Hello you, the name is Luca but you can call me Luca. Now many of you may remember my post 'What is a voice with no power? (Part 2: Curious Incident movie)' which I shall link here if you have not already read it - https://redsone-shot.blogspot.co.uk/2016/07/what-is-voice-with-no-power-part-2.html.

When I posted that, it was something that I really wanted to avoid because I had been keen to keep these requests between me and the right people, and releasing anything like that for you all to see may at first have been more of something that would work against me as appose to in my favour. I say that because if I made it public, the big people involved would not take me seriously and see me as just some random fan boy who would be just a minor inconvenience and not take me seriously.

The reason I made all that I did public is because I would constantly get either no response, or a response from the email address I did send one particular email to and only get told "Sorry, this is not the correct email address" and never get whatever the correct one was. So I am forever cutting wrong wires in an attempt to diffuse the bomb that is getting a Curious Incident movie with Taron Egerton to happen.

What prompted me to write this was that a few days ago (Well, only yesterday from when I wrote this), I fell asleep and had an unsettling dream about a plane crashing, which was bad enough since I am a tad unnerved by the idea of flying anyway. However - because I am a scrub who thinks all dreams have meaning - I looked up on Google what a dream of such a thing means, and I found the following exurb from www.dreammoods.com:

To dream that a plane crashes signifies that you have set overly high and unrealistic goals for yourself. You are in danger of having those goals come crashing down. Alternatively, the crashing airplane represents your lack of confidence, self-defeating attitude and self-doubt.
 
Now you lot can believe whatever the fuck you like, I mean I believe dreams are a suppressed thought so that's why I look up things like this. So when I read that (Or something along those lines, I got a different exurb on my phone), it spoke so much volumes to me as it really is me in a nutshell. I have absolutely no confidence in myself, and for so long, I try and never think any bit about myself in a positive light in fear of seeming arrogant.
 
I was getting my hair cut recently and my hairdresser Michelle says that I am too down about myself, and since I never listen to myself because I could easily be like "Oh I am great, I'm the dog's bollocks", having heard those words from someone other than me obviously made me think. The fact that Michelle said that was because she wanted to know why I did not take pride in the fact that I am able to name every single Formula One world champion that there has ever been.
 
The reason why I don't "Own that shit" is because why should I if it's not useful? It's not as if I can make money off of knowing every one of the F1 champions since 1950, maybe in that ITV list show or Mastermind but that would only ever be good for the one time. It isn't just exclusive to that particular thing though, I put myself down in many other regards too.
 
Whilst speaking with Michelle, I was referring to a lady I really like (In my 'Change: From an autistic person' article - https://redsone-shot.blogspot.co.uk/2016/08/change-from-autistic-person.html - I allude to this same person) and Michelle kept hearing me tell myself that I wasn't outgoing like this same person, that my days consist of the same very basic things and I wasn't interesting or appealing. I don't consider myself depressed, I always just put all this down to being grounded and realistic.
 
An array of other things lead me to being the way I am, I never want to rate myself too highly in regards to anything, and that has led to me wanting to be positive but not seeing any line between optimism and arrogance in myself. Which is what leads onto again, my ambitions to make a Curious Incident movie.
 
So this all began around October last year when I made a friend in one of the major personnel of the Huntsman tailors in London, and I will refrain from telling anyone who this person is. She promised me that she would pass on any ideas I had to Matthew Vaughn for movies, and these movies are; Curious Incident as you lot may know, also a movie adaptation of the musical Memphis and I also wanted to propose some ideas for the third Kingsman film, as well as a few other things that I won't mention just yet.
 
I was absolutely elated with this, but this did not come without any self doubt. I mean, I'm just some guy who has now left college and chosen to not continue his education, and sits in his room for the most part playing video games and telling some random people on the internet some words that honestly, should not hold any more significance to their own. Why would - in my opinion (WHICH IS FACT, especially here) - the most talented action writer and director have any reason to pay any attention to me and not the next person?
 
It never just stemmed to Matthew Vaughn, it's the whole film industry in general. Why would these studios listen to me? It has been an uphill battle, and every day I would ask myself, what progress am I making whilst I am stuck here in my room?
 
By publishing my post, I thought I could generate some attention within the community of Taron Egerton fans among other communities, and the response was absolutely immense! I am forever grateful to every single one of you for spreading it, and I was hoping it could get to a greater level by using a similar method that led to Deadpool's rise to becoming a movie. I wasn't deluded to the fact that it wasn't going to succeed to an immense level, but I thought maybe just maybe, if there was someone who read this who knew the right people are had a greater following, this could happen.
 
That's the main thing here, I want to see this happen. Not because I want a movie made for me, I think there is mass interest for these movies to be made and I would not be pushing for it if I felt there would be no major interest in any of it happening. How many of you would watch a Curious Incident movie with Taron Egerton as Christopher? I know it can be great but I'm simply just one insignificant cog in the world that is a machine.
 
But if the movie Hugo taught me anything, it's that if you're any small part in any machine, you're there for a reason and whatever you do has any sort of consequence. Yes, I am very much aware I sound like some guy who posts an image on his Facebook of himself trying to look very spiritual and there's a choice of either inspirational quote, or lyrics from a trending song... All I'm saying is, I keep going with this, no matter how ridiculous I may seem in hopes that eventually, there is still the chance that it will happen.

At what cost though? I feel like I'll be laughed at and referred to as ridiculous for pushing for this. I'm also aware that I could be completely unreasonable with all this, but why would I have a right?

So all these self doubts, stem from the fact that I am forever trying to push for this to happen and I'm just sat in my room, hoping by some miracle, I have someone message me giving me hope or guaranteeing that Curious Incident will get made with Taron Egerton.

I don't want pity, I don't want any unfair advantage and when this is over, I would like to return to my life of obscurity. I'm going to continue thinking of ways to get noticed, I hope you liked what I had to say here, and don't forget to dream for yourself, okay?

Until we meet again,
Luca.


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